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Maybe you're tired of me talking about it, but that's okay. I'm good with that. It's my experience and my passion and something I think more people need to talk about. Of course, I'm talking about mental illness and mental health. For this Five Minute Friday, I want to talk about something that is related and something that REALLY needs talking about. I'm going to try to do it in 5 minutes.
Self-injury.
Yeah, it's a kind of scary thing to say aloud. I'll be honest. It's not the easiest thing to talk about with regard to my own experience. So why talk about it today, with this prompt?
Because I'm free of it.
It's something that plagued me on and off from about late middle school through my early 30s. Then I went through an intensive outpatient mental health program and using the education I gleaned from that, the coping skills I learned, and the help of my therapist Pendragon (who helped me uncover the reasons why I did it), I broke free of the stranglehold this habit had on my life.
This August will make six years of freedom from self-injury. And I'm pretty stinking proud of that.
One thing freedom from self-injury isn't: easy. It takes incredible effort and it takes vigilance. Freedom also isn't being free from thoughts and temptations to self-injure. The freedom is in resisting those thoughts and temptations. Every time you resist, you get a little bit stronger. I've had some fierce temptations. I've come very close to losing the fight with those thoughts a few times, especially in the early days.
Eventually though, I got to a place where one year became two and then three and at some point, I realised that when I'm tempted, the part of me that has become stronger with resistance says, "It's not worth it to throw all this hard work away and have to start again at square one." And the part of me that's fighting yet another temptation says, "You know? You're right." And the temptation loses and I win another victory.
I am free from self-injury. If you are struggling with it, know that there is hope for you to find freedom too. If you need a friend to encourage you along the way, email me at the link in the sidebar. I promise I'll listen and be there. You can do it! You can be free too!
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| Join in the Five Minute Friday fun and link up at Kate Motaung's blog! |
I'm so glad I stopped by here from FMF. Although I have never self-injured in the way that you likely mean, I did suffer from anorexia in my late teens and early 20s. I know how difficult the journey out of that was/is. In our small town, even in our church, we have so many girls who self-injure, and it breaks my heart. They need someone like you to come alongside them, and walk with them. Someone who has some 'street cred' in this area. I'm praying that someone will step up. Thanks for your post.
ReplyDeleteThank you for stopping by and commenting! Mental illness is such a difficult road in all its many guises. Self-injury is something that seems to be on the rise statistically and yet, is something that many people just don't know anything about -- including psychiatrists, psychologists, and therapists. It's an area where we really need to educate people. Along with depression and suicide prevention, it's one of the areas of mental illness education and advocacy that I'm most passionate about. I will keep the girls in your church and town in my prayers. I wish I could hug them all and tell them how loved they are.
DeleteLike you, I also dealt with self-injury starting in early high school. It continued for quite a while. I can totally understand the hurdles and challenges to overcoming this mental illness. There is definitely a freedom found once we get passed it all. Thank you so much for writing about this often difficult subject. It takes a lot of courage to admit going through it with others.
ReplyDeleteHere's an old post I wrote about this subject:
http://unspeakablejoymovement.blogspot.com/2014/11/when-you-dont-know-where-to-turn.html
Thank you for sharing your post with me! That was beautiful and very brave. It is very scary sharing stuff like this with others, but it's so important because it helps others not feel so alone and may help them find their way to freedom. By the way, your family is absolutely beautiful! :)
DeleteI'm so glad I saw your blog post today! Praise God for your freedom! Looking forward to meeting you soon :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for stopping by and commenting too! :) It always makes my day when folks leave me a comment. I am very very grateful to God that I am free of this! I can't wait to meet you in a few weeks at the retreat!
DeleteSuch a great post! So proud of you friend!!
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