Don't get me wrong. I love the idea of writing for five minutes on a prompt, not editing your post, hitting publish, and linking up with a community of other folks who do the same. I really do love the idea.
The problem is that I can't write like that.
I have been a part of this community for over a year and thought that despite my inability to keep to five minutes with my writing most weeks that somehow, the "rules" just weren't as important as the spirit of the thing and the community. I had also fooled myself into believing that I wasn't the only one who went over the time allowance and who was really in it for the community. I further fooled myself into believing that if put to the test, I could actually write something that approached coherence and meaningfulness in 5 minutes' time.
I was wrong on all three counts.
Apparently, for certain individuals within this community, the rules are more important than showing grace to someone who just wants to participate and belong but isn't quite proficient at churning out a perfectly crafted inspirational nugget in 5 minutes. I am apparently also one of the very few people who goes over the time allowance with some regularity and who joined up with this thing intending to follow the rules, but wound up staying in it more for the community than anything else. I know there are others (I've talked to them), but given that I was surrounded by about 15 other women at the Five Minute Friday retreat a few weekends ago who all seem to have no problem with this, I think it's safe to say that I found I'm in the minority. Likewise, the five minute free write that we did at the retreat further served to illuminate the fact that when put to the test and the pressure is on, I am a failure at the "five minutes" part of Five Minute Friday.
I thought in participating in this blog community that I had found a like-minded group of individuals who were all in a similar boat with me -- even if not exactly the same boat -- in wanting to be part of a community that gets together once a week and writes together. For me, that's what Five Minute Friday was always about. It's what I thought I had found.
For the most part, I did find that there are a LOT of great individuals who belong to this community. Many of them write things that resonate with me and many write things that don't. I'm okay with that. I appreciate diversity of ideas and people. I've gotten some genuinely wonderful comments on some of my posts from the folks in this community and met a couple of really awesome friends through it too. I am always looking to find members of my "tribe" and I've definitely done that some through this.
That said though, I'm done with the Five Minute Friday rules -- both those that are stated and those that are understood. I'm also done with judging myself and how I do Five Minute Friday.
- No more worrying about time limits (I may not even set a clock when I write).
- No more worrying about whether or not the small amount of editing that I do counts as "editing" vs "not editing."
- No more worrying about trying to link up on Thursday night just so I can get toward the top of the linkup list and maybe get more than just one comment from my solitary regular reader.
- No more worrying that it's Monday or Tuesday or even Thursday afternoon and I'm just linking up with the previous Friday's post.
- No more worrying that I didn't write a post for the previous week.
- No more worrying that no one will retweet my FMF post when it seems like they've retweeted several other bloggers' FMF posts.
So goodbye to the old way of doing Five Minute Friday. I'm breaking up with you and all the self-judgment I feel by trying to do it your way. I need to do Five Minute Friday my own way and be okay with that. I need to find my own way. Perhaps I'll see you again in a few weeks.
Oh friend! It breaks me heart that you feel this way, but I totally understand. And honestly I think there are more of us that tend to go over the five minutes than you think. I'm proud of you for expressing how you are feeling. Love Ya!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much friend! You are always so encouraging. I really appreciate how you get me :) Love you too!
DeleteActually, I quit doing FMF because I thought it was going to be just what it purported to be, five minutes of stream of consciousness writing. I didn't like the idea that it mostly seemed to be five minutes of polished promo writing for believing in a superior being. Elegant prose has it's place and is wonderful, but raw writing is meant as a creative exercise. Yes?
ReplyDeleteYes, absolutely! You actually hit on one of my frustrations with FMF. When I first joined, I also thought it was going to be a five minute stream of consciousness kind of thing using the prompt provided, but what I found is that a lot of the posts were very polished and seemed to be promoting whatever that particular blog's agenda was. I'm fine with an agenda and (as you might have guessed) fine with people wanting to share their faith in God (or other deity), but it always felt a bit false because of all the polishing. One of the "rules" is that you're not supposed to edit what you write, but with all the additions of graphics, tweetable links, and the quite obviously NOT raw layout of the entry itself, they looked very edited and prettified. It was always like the words weren't enough. I'm not opposed to graphics or making things look pretty or even tweetable links, but if the point is to write for 5 minutes, not edit, and hit "publish" then that's what it ought to look like for the most part.
DeleteOh and thank you so much for stopping by and for commenting! I really appreciate the feedback :)
DeleteI understand if you need to break up with the old way of doing Five Minute Friday. I have always appreciated your perspective and enjoyed your writing. I will enjoy reading your words no matter what day of the week you write them on or how long it took you to compose the post. I hope you have a good day!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your kind words! I will eventually get back to writing FMF, but it will be more like Prompt Word Friday. :) I hope you have a good day too!
DeleteGood for you and well said. I go overtime all the time and I think I probably break the rules all the time - not intentionally but for me it's about learning to write and trusting myself - FMF has helped me mostly not to over think and second guess myself and yes I just did my FMF post on a Wednesday because I have to write when it suits me and Friday doesn't work for me. You've touched in some great things here - it's a really well balanced post that mirrored a lot of my thoughts but I have to say contrary to what you may think --- you don't suck - your doing things your way, in your time and you have just articulated it all beautifully. Heres to doing things our own way!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for saying that! It's nice to know that I'm not alone. FMF has been beneficial to me in that it's helped to keep me regular in my writing. I've tried to write it all in five minutes, but it's just too much anxiety for me because it's like I can feel the clock ticking away just behind my neck and I can't think like that. Thank you for stopping by and commenting!
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