Faith - Monday of the First Week of Advent

When Jesus entered Capernaum, a centurion approached him and appealed to him, saying, “Lord, my servant is lying at home paralyzed, suffering dreadfully.” He said to him, “I will come and cure him.” The centurion said in reply, “Lord, I am not worthy to have you enter under my roof; only say the word and my servant will be healed. For I too am a man subject to authority, with soldiers subject to me. And I say to one, ‘Go,’ and he goes; and to another, ‘Come here,’ and he comes; and to my slave, ‘Do this,’ and he does it.” When Jesus heard this, he was amazed and said to those following him, “Amen, I say to you, in no one in Israel have I found such faith.  I say to you, many will come from the east and the west, and will recline with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob at the banquet in the Kingdom of heaven.” -- Matthew 8:5-11

Faith

"Lord, I am not worthy to have you enter under my roof; only say the word and my servant will be healed."

What a faith filled statement to make! The centurion who approached Jesus that day showed great faith by recognizing his own unworthiness and yet having the boldness to lay bare his belief in Jesus' supreme worthiness. This statement is on of my favourite parts of this passage because it is both an admission of how wretchedly sinful we are, but also a confession of how perfect and merciful God is. At every Mass that is celebrated on any day, we speak these words just before receiving Jesus' Body and Blood in the Holy Eucharist. They are a little different, but still just as powerful. The words we say are, "Lord, I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed."

At the end of the day, that is what we are to be concerned with -- the health of our souls. Are we reconciled to God or are we wallowing in our sinfulness? None of us are worthy that God should even look at us, but when we "confidently approach the throne of grace to receive mercy" (Hebrews 4:16), He is a compassionate High Priest who is willing to forgive our sins and thus, heal our souls. This kind of admission isn't always easy on our part and it takes a great deal of courage to come before Him with humility and admit what we've done and have faith that He will say the word and heal our souls.

Why is this kind of faith important during Advent? It is because Advent is a time of waiting. During this season of waiting, we reflect on how the ancient Israelites waited for centuries for their promised Messiah and how their faithfulness to wait for the fulfillment of God's promise prepared the way for His coming. So many times in our lives we pray for something important to us, only to have God's answer be, "wait." We can make one of two choices - to turn away from Him and go our own way or we can exercise great faith that His "wait" is for our benefit and continue to pursue His will for our lives. Often this may mean that we go through a whole season of our lives that is much like Advent in that we are waiting for Him to show us His face. When we go through these seasons of waiting, it isn't easy to have such great faith because we often just don't feel it, but the health of our souls depends on our willingness to put feelings aside and have the humility to acknowledge our sins and seek His healing words.

If you've been reading this blog for any length of time, you will know that I am going through my own season of waiting. It has been something that has tested my faith in many ways and I have been sorely tempted on many occasions to turn away from Him completely. It has taken a lot of strength to speak aloud my unworthiness and put my faith in His supreme worthiness and His promise that He will not leave or forsake me, especially when it has appeared that He has indeed left me abandoned and alone. I am still in a season of waiting and it is still hard, but I am doing my best to persevere in faith, day by day. To be honest, I still have my doubts as to where He is or what He is doing, but one thing that has helped me immensely is to avail myself of the Sacrament of Reconciliation on a regular basis. Not only has this helped to care for the health of my soul by reconciling me to God, but it has helped me find reasons to continue to move forward through this season of waiting, even when everything in me wanted to jump ship. So I keep going and I keep admitting that I am not worthy that He should enter under my roof and I put my faith in His ability to heal my soul, despite my doubts.

Have you ever experienced a test of your faith? Or a season of waiting on God to show His face?