Also, my friend Tara's FMF community intro video is at today's prompt page! Go check out her blog, Praying On the Prairie, and the video here! Love you, T!
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Relief
I'll admit that this particular prompt really hits me where I live. I have been yearning for some serious relief from the onslaught of this depressive episode for a good two years. I have had little bits of relief here and there, but nothing lasting and nothing that seems to make a huge difference in things or a huge dent.
So what do you do when you cannot find enough relief?
What do you do when the difficulties of life -- be they health or finances or family struggles -- continually assault you no matter what you do? What do you do when it feels like your prayers for relief are answered by more and more trials?
Well, the way I look at it -- you have two options: give up or keep putting one foot in front of the other and refuse to give into hopelessness.
I'll be honest.
When life is hard -- and for me depression has been absolutely life-changingly hard -- giving up seems like a better option than keeping on keeping on forever with no relief in sight. When the desert of depression has stretched out long and wide and hot in front of me without so much as mirage of an oasis, giving up has seemed not only a better option, but a sensible option and like the only option.
But then I look at my husband's sleeping form in the bed beside me or at my big girls playing together or I feel the weight of my baby girl nestled against me, her little brown curls tickling my arm and something stirs within me.
Is it relief? No, not really.
It is daily bread.
"Give us this day our daily bread...."
Notice it doesn't say to give us bread for tomorrow and the next day and the next week or month or year. Give us enough for today. Give us what is required to see us through to a new day. Sustenance to keep us alive and moving forward for this present day.
So I breathe in and I breathe out. And when I am alone and the deluge of darkness is so heavy that I can hardly breathe, I reach out my hand for whatever daily bread He may give me. This daily bread may not be the relief I'm seeking, but it propels me when I cannot propel myself.
Sometimes it is someone holding my hand, someone to talk to, a cup of tea, thoughts of my children, memories of better days, or the thought of a commitment I have made which I need to honour.
Whatever it is, this daily bread sustains me, keeps me following after Him, and helps me persevere until relief arrives.
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Good to read you again! Thanks for sharing a bit of your story, I bet relief is hard to see when you struggle with depression. And yet, as you put it, it might not always be about final relief but daily bread. A bit of encouragement and hope for every day. And then the next. And the next.
ReplyDeleteI had to think of Jesus who came to this world to bring relief. Yet, we face so much trouble today. Jesus' most powerful gift was to bring himself. Into our darkness and depression. He doesn't take everything away right that moment, but he promises to walk with us as long as it may take.
May you experience lots of Jesus' walking with you as you perservere and keep on going. Cheering you on today! – your FMF neighbor!
The minute I read that word prompt I thought of you. I pray for you to find that relief. But you are right God gives us what we need for TODAY! "Give us this day our daily bread." Love how you used those words today because God indeed has s way of giving that to is in so many ways. Thanks for sharing my intro video. It was fun to do!! Love you too friend!!
ReplyDeleteI always appreciate your honesty. This is a great reminder that we can count on God's daily bread. I pray you have relief today as you rest in the God who loves you. Blessings!
ReplyDeleteWow... Amen! You better speak the truth! Sometimes it seems that relief is short-lived. Trials upon trials upon trials. Despite all the trials, God is faithful and always present--that good 'ol daily bread. :-)
ReplyDeleteMy daughter went through a 6 month depressive episode--and nothing seemed to help. The medication, the therapy, absolutely nothing. When she finally started to come out of it, we breathed a sigh of relief and thought that this could never happen again--only to be sucked into the whirlpool of unexplained behavior and confusion. To make a very long story short, it turns out that the medicine didn't work because it was the wrong kind. She had undiagnosed bipolar disorder and her crazy post-depression behavior was mania. We are very close, and so this has been extremely difficult for me. My prayers are with you and with your family. God has this figured out. He gives us our daily bread and it is sufficient.
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