By comparison, we in the western world suffer little to no persecution -- at least not by those of flesh and blood. Much of the persecution we face is from the evil one. He uses spiritual attacks and oppression, but the biggest and most effective tool that he has to persecute us is one that most people never consider -- us. He uses us against ourselves. He tempts us with promises of wealth, prosperity, safety, comfort, health, and freedom and he makes those things look very attractive to us. I think the psalmist was on to this idea:
O Lord my God, in You I take refuge; save me form all my pursuers, and deliver me, or like a lion they will tear me apart; they will drag me away, with no one to rescue. O Lord my God, if I have done this, if there is wrong in my hands, if I have repaid my ally with harm or plundered my foe without cause, then let the enemy pursue and overtake me, trample my life to the ground and lay my soul in the dust. (verses 1-5)Do you notice how uncertain the psalmist is that he will be rescued? This isn't because he lacks trust in God. It's because he knows himself and knows that if he hasn't reconciled himself to God through the admission of his sins that his sinfulness will be turned against him. That's what we call letting Satan get a foothold. In the case of the psalmist, he's battling against flesh and blood, but he still acknowledges that holding onto sin and not repenting of it is just asking for trouble. In the next couple of verses, he begins his request, but once again, he acknowledges that sin and wickedness have no place with a follower of God and that God is just in His judgements:
The Lord judges the peoples; judge me, O Lord, according to my righteousness and according to the integrity that is in me. (verse 8)We wrestle with sin and wickedness every day and if we are honest with ourselves, we fail on a daily basis and often, we are not even aware of it. Why is that? It's because we all have our little pet sins. Things that we don't even think about as being sinful. Most of us can honestly say that we're not guilty of murder, but what about unwarranted anger or holding onto grudges against others? What about a little road rage? Ever lash out at someone online? No, none of these are murder, but they do fall under the heading of being uncharitable toward your neighbour. Jesus said that we're to love our neighbour as ourselves. Full stop, period. the end. He didn't put qualifiers on that command. He said love your neighbour and as we know, that means everyone. Why? Because He loves everyone and we are meant to be His face, hands, and feet, sharing His love with the world around us. The reason I mention this one is that it's one that, try as I might, trips me up too.
You see, when we begin to fail in these little things, they make it easier for Satan to tempt us into other, bigger, more serious sins. Don't get me wrong, ALL sin is bad, but some sins have a destructive power that destroys not only the one who commits it, but others around that person. When we neglect the little sins, we weaken our ability to resist the bigger ones. That's one of the ideas behind giving up something that we really enjoy during Lent. It helps strengthen our resolve to resist temptation in all its guises. Put it this way, if I can't even resist a chocolate bar -- which is something small -- how on earth will I be able to resist something more enticing?
The other thing about falling victim to the little sins and not being aware of them is that we begin to change how we think about the bigger sins. We begin to rationalize them and perhaps even formulate intellectual arguments to support why they are okay and why God's way is not. We start to surround ourselves with people who regularly engage in these sins and find no fault in them. Before we know it, we may find ourselves in so deep that we lose our ability to see the way out or even realize that we need to get out. When we reach this state, that is when Satan has really used us against ourselves and the consequences of our failure to resist these temptations is a punishment all of its own. The psalmist chalks it up to God's wrath, but also acknowledges that those who sin fall into punishment without any help from anyone. Look at these verses and you'll see what I mean:
If one does not repent, God will whet His sword; He has bent and strung His bow; He has prepared His deadly weapons, making His arrows fiery shafts. See how they conceive evil, and are pregnant with mischief and bring forth lies. They make a pit, digging it out, and fall into the hole that they have made. Their mischief returns upon their own heads, and on their own heads their violence descends. (verses 12-16)St. Paul says in Romans 1:24 that the people of God grew so wicked that God gave them over to the lusts of their hearts. The way I've always read that is that God created the natural law and that the Israelites -- who knew better -- turned their backs on this natural law which was inscribed on their hearts by God, so He gave them up to the natural consequences of their wickedness and rebellion. It wasn't so much that God reached out His hand and smote the Israelites, but rather that He allowed their wickedness to catch up with them because they not only refused to turn away from it, but even gave approval to sin and evil.
So if we do not want Satan to use our own flesh to persecute us, what do we do?
As a Catholic, one thing I do is try to get to Confession as often as possible. Not only are there graces that come from that sacrament, but one of the many benefits of it is that the process makes me more aware of all the little ways that I sin each day. Prior to going to confession, I usually do what's called an examination of conscience. For those of you who don't know, it's basically where you think about your life in a critical way and make a list of the sins you want to confess.
One simple way to go about it is to use the 10 Commandments as a guide. You take each commandment and think about the ways that you might have broken that commandment and if you find one, write it down. Once you have your list, you go into the confessional and confess them to God in the presence of the priest. There is something about having to say it out loud to another person that makes you much more aware of it and helps you think twice about it when you feel tempted to that sin again. I think it's especially helpful if you have a habitual sin that you're trying to break free of. I know it's helped me with one that I'm working on.
If you're not Catholic, you can still do an examination of conscience to help you really pinpoint those places where you struggle. Ask the Holy Spirit to enlighten your heart and mind and make you aware of those things you need to seek God's forgiveness for and to help you see those sins you commit which you may be blind to seeing. Then make your list and confess it before God, asking His forgiveness and help to keep you from further sin. If you have someone that holds you accountable, reading your list to them so they can pray for you and hold you accountable is a very good idea.
A very good practice for Catholics and non-Catholics alike is to do a brief examination of conscience at the end of each day before going to bed, to list your sins for the day, and ask God's forgiveness. I have to admit that I've never really been in the habit of doing that, but I need to get in the habit. So yay, something I've learned in writing this uber long meditation!
If you're reading along with these psalm meditations, I promise that tomorrow's will be lighter and less doom and gloom. Until then...
Pax Christi!
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