Note: This post is my weekly contribution to the Five Minute Friday community that is hosted by Kate Motaung on her blog Heading Home. Click here
for more information about Five Minute Friday and how you can get
involved! To link up with all the other entries for today's prompt word,
click here.
****
Then Boaz said to his servant who was in charge of the reapers, “Whose maiden is this?” And the servant who was in charge of the reapers answered, “It is the Moabite maiden, who came back with Naomi from the country of Moab. She said, ‘Pray, let me glean and gather among the sheaves after the reapers.’ So she came, and she has continued from early morning until now, without resting even for a moment.” -- Ruth 2:5-7
"Pray, let me glean and gather."
In the last year and a half, my walk with God has been constant but spare. I feel very much like Ruth in this passage -- I've been gleaning behind the reapers and trying to gather what little bits I can from what others around me have left behind. I've been gathering little pieces of prayers, single words from scripture, and barest breaths of the Holy Spirit, trying to cobble together something approximating a faith life. I have looked out over the fields of deep depression and have been unable to find my own way in faith. I have been unable to even see Him amongst the sheaves. My friends and family have prayed for me so faithfully during this season of gleaning and gathering and have tried valiantly to encourage me, but I feel very much as though I have been gleaning and gathering from their leavings rather than having much of a faith of my own.
Part of my gathering has taken the form of obedience despite not being able to sense His presence in the field beside me:
Go to Mass on Sunday and receive the Holy Eucharist.
Gather.
Pray bedtime prayers with my husband and children.
Gather.
Listen to talks on faith.
Gather.
Put one foot in front of the other.
Gather.
Go to therapy appointments.
Gather.
Go to confession.
(gulp) Gather.
Receive the Anointing of the Sick.
Gather. Gather. Gather. Gather.....
Pray for others.
Gather.
Thank God for the small things.
Gather.
Continue my ministry with the choir and cantoring the Psalms at Mass.
Gather (cry). Gather (cry). Gather (cry).
Ask for prayer for myself.
Gather. Gather. (sob) Gather.
Put on my holy medals again.
Gather.
Continue to teach my children about Jesus.
Gather.
Challenge my doubts.
Gather.
Eventually Ruth gathered enough to fill her belly and eventually she rested and was refreshed. Eventually, God rewarded her love and devotion to Naomi despite her pain with not only food and refreshing, but a loving husband and a place in the lineage of Christ. God rewarded her obedience -- her gathering when she had nothing else and knew nothing else to do -- with a legacy that outlived her by over two millennia and continues to this day.
Ruth gathered among the sheaves.
Although I cannot see His face or hear His voice, I will continue to gather until I need gather no more.
 |
| Join in the Five Minute Friday fun and link up at Kate Motaung's blog! |
Remember Dearest, that even St. Theresa had what she called "dry" periods, and that part of what you are doing to encourage yourself through them, she did also.
ReplyDeleteI will keep you in my daily prayers that you will find your way, in love and patience, to await the word of God in your heart, as did St. Teresa.
And remember that over time "this too shall pass." Keep faithfully taking your medicine, and know there are millions who hold you close, always. You are never alone. May you feel the blessing of being loved so much by our Lord, whether you feel him there or not.
Continuing on with you sister, one step at a time, one foot in front of the other...trusting He is there, right there with us, even when we have a hard time seeing Him at all. Much love to you...xo
ReplyDeleteOh friend! Love your honesty and transparency. I was reminded of the song "Bringing in the Sheaves." I picture a scene from Little House in the Prairie where they are gathered in the church singing those words together. We will continue to gather for you friend until you no longer need to gather.
ReplyDeleteThis is a beautiful reminder. I pray that God will lighten your burden as you continue to obediently search for and gather bits of His goodness.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful... oh how we must continue to gather... even (or especially) when we feel emptied out and like nothing fills. He does. He fills and refreshes and I am praying that He comes in like a flood and overflows!
ReplyDeleteI love this perspective - that when we are facing those uphill battles in life is our season of gathering, and eventually we will get to enjoy a meal!
ReplyDeleteThis is a great perspective. I have never thought of the story of Ruth in this way. Keep on gathering, it takes time to see the reward, but it is worth it.
ReplyDeleteAll that little accumulates, as we gather.
ReplyDelete"As we gather may your Spirit work within us,
As we gather may we glorify your name.
Knowing well that as our hearts begin to worship,
We'll be blessed because we came."
Such heartfelt and encouraging words. I think many of us can relate to being in a season where we can't see Him among the sheaves. I know I certainly can and I'm inspired by the ways you've been gathering and gleaning, trusting that He is nearby.
ReplyDeleteKeep on gathering, my friend. He promises to leave us satisfied with him alone.
ReplyDelete