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Friday, October 3, 2014
Day Three (extra content) -- Five Minute Friday: New
Note: Obviously I am rather immersed in the 31 Days writing challenge at the moment, but I am going to try to continue with the Five Minute Friday posts too. It's a good way to keep my writing skills sharp and also to foster good habits with regard to writing daily (which is a goal I set myself about three weeks ago). I thought about writing something totally unrelated to my 31 Days topic of depression for these FMF posts, but I think I am going to try and use the prompts given at Kate Motaung's blog to continue some of my ideas or write a bit more briefly on a particular facet of depression or my experience with it. If you don't know what Five Minute Friday is all about, click the link in the previous sentence and go check it out! It's a fantastic community of folks. Speaking of the community there, I will be continuing to link up with that community as well. So now, without further ado, here's today's Five Minute Friday prompt and post:
Writing about what I'm going through is a new experience for me. Sure, I've written about depression before, but never like this. It is new inasmuch as it is something kind of public and much more detailed than I've even shared with some of my closest friends. Beginning this was an interesting and, I'll be honest, very scary thing. I felt my heart racing rather fast the first time I hit the "publish" button and sent my words out into the ether. Baring your soul and sharing your heart on something as personal as depression can be a new experience every time you talk about it. I have shared some of it with friends and family and of course, my therapist has heard pretty much all of it, but even he hears different things every time we talk about it. Obviously, that's his job to push me to new insights and a better understanding of this illness, but I think that just points out how incredibly complex a disease depression really is. Most people see it as an unrelenting sadness accompanied by certain other symptoms, but that only scratches the surface. A list of symptoms is just that -- a list. It doesn't even begin to encompass all the complexities and nuances of this experience. If I'm being totally honest, in some ways, each depressive episode is new and different from the one before it, although there are patterns there. For me, the current episode I am experiencing has been the MOST different from any I've ever been through and the longest lasting. I think that's why I felt it important to embark on this new experience of writing and sharing it. It is my hope (again with my discomfort at that word!) that it will provide a new understanding or insight for those reading along with me.
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Visiting here from FMF! Thank-you for this post and for committing to this project for the 31 Day challenge! I have family members who suffer from depression and it is not easy to see them go through it! Most of the time I feel helpless but I hope that I am some sort of help to them! I look forward to reading more of your posts!
ReplyDeleteThank you for stopping by and reading! It really is so hard to watch someone you love experiencing the pain of depression or any mental illness. Mental illness runs in my family (as it does for many folks), so I've experienced both sides of the coin. I am sure you are more of a help to your family than you realize. Sometimes, I'll grant you, family can be a hindrance or hurt, but that's usually because there are some underlying issues between family members that need to be addressed. One of the most helpful things to me is when a friend or family member listens to me and I mean really listens. My husband can be a good listener, but a lot of times he tries to "fix" stuff when all I want is to be heard. Praying for your family who are struggling (and letting them know you're praying if you think they'll be receptive to it) is also a powerfully helpful thing. I have been sustained by the prayers of family and friends during this long sojourn and I am grateful for each and every one. God bless you and thank you again so much for reading and commenting too!
DeleteThank-you! I do pray for these family members of mine fervently! And I'm learning to just shut up and listen when they need to talk (I'm a fixer too so it's hard not to try to fix things). :)
DeleteI know it's hard sometimes to just sit and listen, especially when you see how much pain someone is in. As I said, my husband is a fixer (I think that's something a lot of men tend toward), but he's learning to listen more, although I know there are times he gets frustrated with it. I want to thank you again for commenting. You've actually given me an idea for a post that I want to do eventually as part of this 31 Days. Not sure how I'll weave it into the story, but it's something that I think is important -- how to help those you know and love who are suffering with depression and/or other mental illness. Off to jot it down before I forget it!
DeleteYes, men tend to be fixers ... I'm one of the odd women who is. :) Glad I gave you an idea for a post! Looking forward to reading more!
DeleteDropping by from FMF to cheer you on in your Write31days endeavor and to encourage you as you struggle through your depressive episode. My daughter is currently struggling with depression, and my heart aches for her on a daily basis. This is the first episode that's been diagnosed (as her mother, I feel I deserve a giant head slap for not recognizing other depressive episodes earlier in her life). I've been reading like crazy trying to educate myself so that I can be supportive and helpful.
ReplyDeleteOh my friend! I am sorry to hear about your daughter's struggles. It is such a hard thing to watch someone you love so much hurting so badly. Please don't beat yourself up for not recognizing other episodes previous to this one. You did the best you knew how to do in parenting her and helping her. I don't know you or your daughter, but I know in my own experience that there are many people who have been very near to me my entire life who had absolutely NO idea that I was struggling so horribly with depression (or that I was depressed at all) earlier in my life. The reason for this is because I hid it very well. I put on a fake smile, said all the right things, pushed myself through the motions of normalcy. I never did any of the things that people usually associate with someone who is depressed. Part of that is because I was, in my own way, fighting back against it, trying to convince myself that I wasn't depressed and that I was normal. The other part of it was fear that if those closest to me found out how horribly depressed I was that they would reject me, emotionally smother me (my mom totally would have done this), or somehow have me locked up somewhere. I guess I say all of this to say that it is possible that your daughter might have been hiding some or all of her symptoms in an effort to both appear normal and to fight against it. Depression is such a complex and wily beast and it affects different people in different ways. The best thing you can do for your daughter is listen when she wants to talk, help her get the help she needs (by offering to take her to the doctor or therapist or other treatment), and let her know that you love her and you are there for her as she needs you. I don't know what your religious beliefs are, but one thing that can be very helpful is to pray for her and enlist others you trust to pray for her and for YOU too. I will absolutely keep you in my prayers. God bless you and your daughter too. ((((hugs))))
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