Meditating on Advent - Day 4

I'm a little behind because yesterday (12/2/2015) was a struggle with energy. My brain was so tired that I was having difficulty following discussions in a Facebook group I help administrate and during a thoughtful discussion my hubby and I were having after we got the girls to bed. I was sluggish and tired all day and just couldn't get it together. Anyhow, here's my thoughts on yesterday's gospel!

Yesterday's Gospel: Matthew 15:29-37

Jesus summoned his disciples and said, "My heart is moved with pity for the crowd, for they have been with me now for three days and have nothing to eat. I do not want to send them away hungry, for fear they may collapse on the way." The disciples said to him, "Where could we ever get enough bread in this deserted place to satisfy such a crowd?"(verse 32-33)

In this season of Advent where we are waiting and preparing for the birth of Jesus at Christmas, we may find ourselves wondering amidst all this preparation if we will really make it to Christmas. We may wonder if there is any way we'll get it all done or worry that we're rushing through Advent without adequately preparing our hearts or we may have so much to do and places to go that we wonder if we'll get to Christmas without losing our minds altogether!

Here's the message: even while we are waiting and preparing for celebrating His birth, He is here with us even now. He is here and He is providing what we need. We are so much like the disciples, I think. They had no hope that there was any way that all these people would be able to be fed given the sheer number, lack of supplies, and deserted location. What's wild is that they even asked Jesus such a question. Verses 29-31 of this passage from Matthew show Jesus healing people of all kinds of ills and deformities. In fact, verse 30 says "great crowds came to him" and that "he cured them." The disciples had witnessed all these miracles and yet, they lost hope when it came to food.

Isn't that SO like us humans? We see all kinds of amazing things, but when we get hungry or tired or hot or cold, or inundated with too much to do, we lose hope that God is able to provide for those needs. I love the phrase that Shakespeare uses to describe all the frustrations of our earthly existence as "the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to." It's so true though, isn't it? This mortal life isn't an easy one and because of the sinful fallen nature we inherited from Adam and Eve, we sometimes lose sight of the fact that God doesn't just do amazing and fireworks-worthy miracles like curing an incurably blind person or turning several gallons of water into the best wine. He works smaller miracles in our everyday lives like giving us an extra push of energy when we think we have none left so that we can do what needs to be done or providing a friend to spend time with when we are feeling lonely and low or finding a sale on something so that we can give our children Christmas presents and still buy groceries to feed the family.

So when you get frustrated during this season of waiting and preparing, remember the feeding of the four thousand here in Matthew. Remember that even as we wait, He is here and He provides.

Meditating on Advent -- Introduction and Day 1

Technically speaking, Advent began yesterday, but as I only got this idea today, I hope you'll forgive me for not being super good at planning or getting my act together! I was thinking today about what I want to do for Advent and came across an idea that another blogger I know had about writing a little haiku each day to kinda help slow down and prepare our hearts for Christmas. This blogger is hosting it at her blog and even providing prompts too. I first thought, "hey, what a great idea! I should do that!" And then as I thought about it some more, I realised that given my verbosity, there would be almost no way I could restrict myself to a haiku. I mean, can you imagine me trying to do a short thought on Advent in 17 syllables? Eeek! Gives me anxiety just thinking about it, y'all!

So, no haiku for me. Instead, I'm going to take the idea of brief meditations and share briefly each day on the Gospel reading for that day. I tried to do this last year and it was an abysmal failure. I think it's because I'd just come off doing Write 31 Days in October and trying to keep writing a lot in November and didn't rest enough. This though, I should be able to do. Since I'm a bit behind, this will serve as both my introduction and my catch up from yesterday's Gospel.

Yesterday's Gospel: Luke 21:25-28, 34-36

"Be vigiliant at all times and pray that you have the strength to escape the tribulations that are imminent and to stand before the Son of Man."

I think this verse really sums up the entirety of the Christian life when it comes to what our purpose on earth truly is. Jesus tells us in Matthew's Gospel that the two greatest commandments are to love God and love our neighbour as ourselves (Matthew 22:36-40). Part of being vigilant so that we are ready "to stand before the Son of Man" when he comes again in glory is live our lives as though He is coming at any moment. Our entire purpose in life should be to follow those two greatest commandments so that when He comes again, we will be ready to stand before Him.

So why such a dark sounding passage during Advent? Well, it's simple really. Advent is a season of waiting and preparation for the birth of the newborn King. It is a time when we ready our hearts to once again come to the manger and adore Him. Likewise, it is also a time to prepare our hearts for His Second Coming -- or Advent -- when He will, as the passage from Luke says, come in a cloud with power and great glory.

At Christmas He is the Word Made Flesh and on that last day, He is the Risen and Glorified King of Kings who will put all His enemies under His feet. Our celebration of Advent is both preparation to celebrate His Incarnation and a reminder to ready ourselves for when He comes again.

Until tomorrow...

Spy Wednesday

I learned something interesting this week thanks to Fr. B. In his homily on Palm Sunday, he talked in depth about Holy Week, examining each day and talking about the significance of the day, how we celebrate it, what the Gospel reading for that day says, etc. Of course, having been a Catholic for 10 years now, I already knew most of it, but I learned something new. We have something called Spy Wednesday! 

No, not a day when we watch 007....

On Spy Wednesday, we hear the account of Judas Iscariot who betrayed Jesus for thirty pieces of silver. The account of Judas' is recorded in all three synoptic gospels (Matthew, Mark, and Luke). This year, the reading is from Matthew's gospel and begins with these verse:

The entire reading is Matthew 26:14-25.

Notice that it says that Judas "looked for an opportunity to hand him over." Sounds a lot like spying to me. So not only does Judas sell Jesus out by handing him over, but he's actively looking for a chance to do it. They go on to plan their celebration of the Passover meal and Judas is looking. Then they meet in the upper room to celebrate together and he's looking. What's more, Jesus, being truly divine as well as truly human, knows that Judas is looking. 

Can you imagine how heart-breaking that must have been for Jesus to sit at the table side by side with all the disciples, looking at their faces, washing their feet, and sharing this meal all the while knowing that Judas was looking for an opportunity to betray Him? Jesus' human nature must have felt a great dismay at this knowledge and I can only imagine how difficult it must have been for Him to carry on with the meal as normal. 

One of the things that happened at the Last Supper was that Jesus washed the disciples' feet. This act is the institution of the priesthood as Jesus was showing them how they were to lead in His absence -- as servants. Prior to this, at supper, Jesus indicates to the twelve that one of them will betray Him and it is after supper that He washes their feet. Given that He had just told them that someone would betray Him, this would seem a good time for Him to refuse to wash the feet of His soon-to-be betrayer. 

But He doesn't. 

Jesus washes Judas' feet as well. He shows Judas grace and love and mercy, even as He knew what Judas was about to do. With the action of washing Judas' feet, Jesus shows everyone in the upper room and all of us who read the story today, the entirety of His message -- love, grace, mercy, hope, and forgiveness. That single action bears witness to the love of the Father, Christ's mission on earth, and the purpose of the Holy Spirit. 

Paul says this in his letter to the Romans:

"But God shows His love for us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." (5:8)

If anyone was unworthy of such a gift, one would think that Judas Iscariot, the disciple of whom John writes, "Satan entered into him" (John 13:27a) would be unworthy to have his feet washed, to be shown love and mercy. But Judas was, like the rest of us, a sinner who was very much loved by Jesus. Even though Judas spied on Jesus, looking for an opportunity to betray him, he was no worse than any of the rest of us. We are all sinners and yet, Christ died for us.

How often do we allow the temptations of Satan to enter us and stay until we betray Jesus? 

How often have we been so mired in our sin that we have even looked for an opportunity to hand Him over?

We are all Judases in our own way. At every moment, He is Love Incarnate.

We all spy on Him, sick in our sin, and hand him over to be crucified again and again. And despite this, He washes our feet, shows us the depths of His love for us, and although He knows who we are and what we are about to do, allows our sin to hand Him over to the guards and nail Him to the cross.

And every heartbreaking time we come to Him in our sin, He offers to wash us clean again -- not through water poured over our feet -- but through the forgiveness that He made available to us through the cross. We need not be like Judas who was so full of bitter regret and despair, that he ran away from Jesus and toward death. All we need do is come to Him with a contrite heart, confess our sins, and receive His mercy and forgiveness.

Anticipating Jesus and M2

Today's blog post is a part of The Advent Blog-Hop hosted by Beth Anne at her blog Beth Anne's Best! Go check out the other blog entries in this series. Happy Advent!

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In December of 2006, I was in full anticipation mode as we were awaiting the birth of our eldest child, M2, in February. My due date was February 5th and I was getting more excited by the day. We had elected not to find out her gender because I wanted to be surprised, which only added to my excitement. As the days of Advent rolled by, I bought presents for Gray and our families and decorated our Christmas tree. I had been doing some preparation for the baby although we didn't have the crib or many clothes, but as we still had about 7-ish weeks to go, so I wasn't worried. This proved to be a mistake. On the night of December 19th, my water broke around 11pm. After a lot of drama (the entire story is a doozy!) and a very rapid labour, M2 was born just after 3am on the 20th at just 33 weeks, 2 days gestation. To say that we were surprised was an understatement. We had not been anticipating this. 

M2 at about two days old in the NICU. I was smitten with her from the moment I saw her!

Like me, Mary was anticipating the birth of her first (and only) child. In today's gospel reading, Luke 1:26-38, we have the story of Gabriel's announcement to Mary that she had been chosen by God to bear Jesus. We often get caught up in the awe of her submission to God's will and her "yes" to God and we forget that she was a woman who was with child -- like many other women before her and since then. It sounds like a simple thing to recall, but I think we sometimes get lost in all the excitement over who Mary is and certainly who Jesus is that we forget about the very human condition she found herself in as she waited and anticipated His arrival. As we know, Luke goes on to mention her visit to Elizabeth (Luke 1:39-45), but have you ever wondered about the rest of the time she was pregnant and the events in the days leading up to Jesus' birth?

Visitation by Philippe de Champaigne

Obviously, there are no documents that exist which might tell us about this for her, but I can tell you what I believe. I believe she was like every other mother-to-be in many ways. I believe this because I am a mother too. M2 is my eldest, of course, but she has two little sisters as well and they are three very wild but very sweet little women. All three of them are so dear to me and have blessed my life in innumerable ways outside of the womb, but the blessing and joy that I have received because of their lives began before they even made their appearance into this world. There is nothing that quite compares to the myriad of emotions that a woman experiences upon learning that she is pregnant. There may be shock, relief, fear, panic, apprehension, elation, joy, excitement, and anticipation. I know I experienced most of those at varying times during my three pregnancies, but the one that I remember the most during those months between learning that I was pregnant and each delivery is anticipation.

If you think about it, the 40 weeks of pregnancy are one big ball of anticipation. Everything you do is driven by that feeling because in the end, you are anticipating something -- the birth of your child. You take care of yourself, visit the obstetrician, buy baby items, and take classes in birth techniques or parenting. Even your thoughts are filled with anticipation as you contemplate baby names, share your news with others, dream about what your baby will look like, wonder what gender it will be, and worry about whether or not you'll really be up to the task of caring for this new little person. In this way, I think Mary was just like the rest of us mommies. True, she had a heads up on the gender and name, but I can imagine the rest of it was pretty normal.

I can imagine she probably gazed down at her rapidly growing belly and began to wonder if Jesus would have St. Joachim's nose or St. Anne's smile. I'm sure she, along with her female relatives and friends, made the swaddling clothes that she wrapped Him in before laying Him in the manger (Luke 2:7). I have no doubt that there were times that the enormity of her consent (Luke 1:38) to allow the Holy Spirit to overshadow her must have weighed on her as she pondered the task of protecting, nurturing, and raising the Son of God. There is a very popular song that I hear a lot on the radio at Christmas called "Mary, Did You Know?" that asks several questions about Mary's understanding of who this child she was entrusted with really is. I believe that she absolutely knew during those 40 weeks of waiting quite a lot about who this child was going to be (my dear friend and fellow blogger Mark Shea actually wrote a fantastic piece about this song in a FAQ format that goes through the various questions the song asks and answers them with verses of scripture). She had been told much of this by Gabriel and yet, she still consented to participate in God's will for her life.

The Annunciation by Philippe de Champaigne c. 1645

Today is my beautiful M2's 8th birthday and I am still full of anticipation. It is not anticipation about her name or gender or what she looks like, but more about who she will become as she gets older. As I anticipate the celebration of the Nativity to come in a few days' time, I am using these last few days of Advent to ponder what Mary must have been anticipating both as she was waiting for Jesus to arrive and as He, as the scripture says, "grew and became strong, filled with wisdom; and the favour of God was upon Him." (Luke 2:40). She knew so much of who He was because of what Gabriel had told her, but like all mothers, I know she still had questions and wondered.

Me with M2 at her class  Christmas party just a few days ago.

May we all enter into these last days of Advent with a sense of anticipation of His coming -- not just at Christmas but His Second Coming at the end of time and so prepare our hearts to receive Him in these days of celebration and for all eternity.

Faith - Monday of the First Week of Advent

When Jesus entered Capernaum, a centurion approached him and appealed to him, saying, “Lord, my servant is lying at home paralyzed, suffering dreadfully.” He said to him, “I will come and cure him.” The centurion said in reply, “Lord, I am not worthy to have you enter under my roof; only say the word and my servant will be healed. For I too am a man subject to authority, with soldiers subject to me. And I say to one, ‘Go,’ and he goes; and to another, ‘Come here,’ and he comes; and to my slave, ‘Do this,’ and he does it.” When Jesus heard this, he was amazed and said to those following him, “Amen, I say to you, in no one in Israel have I found such faith.  I say to you, many will come from the east and the west, and will recline with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob at the banquet in the Kingdom of heaven.” -- Matthew 8:5-11

Faith

"Lord, I am not worthy to have you enter under my roof; only say the word and my servant will be healed."

What a faith filled statement to make! The centurion who approached Jesus that day showed great faith by recognizing his own unworthiness and yet having the boldness to lay bare his belief in Jesus' supreme worthiness. This statement is on of my favourite parts of this passage because it is both an admission of how wretchedly sinful we are, but also a confession of how perfect and merciful God is. At every Mass that is celebrated on any day, we speak these words just before receiving Jesus' Body and Blood in the Holy Eucharist. They are a little different, but still just as powerful. The words we say are, "Lord, I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed."

Watch -- First Sunday of Advent

Jesus said to his disciples:
“Be watchful! Be alert! You do not know when the time will come. It is like a man traveling abroad. He leaves home and places his servants in charge, each with his own work, and orders the gatekeeper to be on the watch. Watch, therefore; you do not know when the Lord of the house is coming,
whether in the evening, or at midnight, or at cockcrow, or in the morning. May he not come suddenly and find you sleeping. What I say to you, I say to all: ‘Watch!’” -- Mark 13:33-37

Watch.

We do a lot of watching in our lives. We watch our children grow. We watch what we are cooking so as not to burn it. We watch for a loved one to return home safely from a trip. We watch television and movies. We watch the seasons change. We watch our gardens grow. We watch the sunset or sunrise.

As a mother of three, I do a lot of watching of my children -- laughter, tears, fights, tantrums, frowns, smiles, dancing, singing, tea parties, Lego building, story telling, modeling shows. I watch the years pass by and my girls get taller and more mature looking. I watch them learning to read, dress themselves, make their own toast, and play outside in our yard unsupervised. I watch all of these things, but one of the things I love to watch time and again is their growing love for God and their faith. It is so sweet and innocent and every time I hear one of them tell me proudly something they've learned in PSR or make a statement like, "You know Momma, I love you and daddy and my sisters and <insert several other family members>, but I love God most of all!" my heart just melts into a puddle.

Faith is so important in this life, but of course, it is our eternal and immortal souls that are the biggest focus of faith. In this passage from the Gospel of St. Mark, Jesus is telling His disciples to watch for Him and be ready when He comes on the last day. Like the disciples, none of us knows the day or the hour when Christ will come again, so we are well advised to make ourselves ready every day.

Obviously in this season of Advent, we are not making ready for the second coming of Christ, but making ready is at the center of what this special season is all about. We make ready our homes by doing things like cleaning and beginning to decorate. More importantly, we make ready our hearts by examining our consciences to discern where we've sinned, confessing that sin to Him and asking His forgiveness and by acts of worship and service.

By doing these preparations of the heart, we prepare a precious gift of ourselves for the newborn babe in the manager. By doing these things, we are joining with the Israelites of old as they waited and watched for the Messiah. By doing these things, we are reminded of the reason for His first coming -- "to save us all from Satan's power, while we were gone astray." By doing these things, we not only prepare our hearts for Christmas but for that second coming and as the Eucharistic prayer says, we "await the blessed hope and coming of Our Saviour, Jesus Christ."

How do you prepare your heart for Christmas?