Monday, November 30, 2015

Meditating on Advent -- Day 2

Today's Gospel: Matthew 4:18-22

"As Jesus was walking by the Sea of Galilee, He saw two brothers, Simon who is called Peter, and his brother Andrew, casting a net into the sea; they were fishermen."

Today is the Feast Day of St. Andrew the Apostle*, so we get a reading about his call to follow Jesus in today's Gospel. It's a short passage and doesn't tell us much about Andrew except that he was a fisherman and that, along with his brother Peter, he left his nets at once and followed Christ.

At once. I think that's really amazing. Can you imagine if you were just going about your day to day life, hard at work at your job and Jesus suddenly walks in the door and says, "Follow me"? I think most of us, if we're being honest, would say that we'd be shocked initially and then after a moment or two, we'd ask Jesus for a few minutes or hours or days to get our lives squared away before coming with Him. I'm a stay at home mom of three girls who need me to supervise them and help them with things all the time while my husband is away at work. If Jesus walked in and suddenly wanted me to come with, I think it would be awfully hard to go "at once" and not want to take some time to call someone to look after my kids, pack a bag, and get all the hugs and kisses I could before I left.

But that's what we're called to do, isn't it? Go when He calls us. He calls all of us in one way or another. My vocation -- or calling -- is to the married life and motherhood. Jesus called me to that when I was a small child. But just because I have accepted that calling and I've followed Him into it by marrying and having children doesn't mean that He ceases to call me. He continues to call me in my day to day life to die to myself and to love others more like He does. That's a hard one for me sometimes. He has also put in my heart a new calling in the past year and that's to educate others about mental illness and suicide prevention. To become an advocate for those who struggle to advocate for themselves and who don't know how to get the help they need. That calling has been a very hard one for me to accept and follow, but I'm doing my best.

I think a good thing to do as we go through this Advent season is ask Him anew to reveal to us how and where He is calling us, to look again at our current calling and seek ways we can better fulfill those callings in obedience to Him. In doing this, we continue the process of readying our hearts for the celebration of Christmas and we better prepare ourselves to be ready when He comes again.

How is He calling you to come and follow Him?

*Since today is St. Andrew's Feast day, I thought I'd include this little prayer for Advent that is often referred to as the Saint Andrew Christmas Novena. It's a prayer that is meant to focus our hearts on the coming of Christ at Christmas and to ask God to grant a particular request in honour of the birth of His Blessed Son. If you're interested in more information, click the link.
Hail and blessed be the hour and moment in which the Son of God was born of the most pure Virgin Mary, at midnight, in Bethlehem, in piercing cold. In that hour vouchsafe, O my God, to hear my prayer and grant my desires, through the merits of Our Saviour Jesus Christ and of His Blessed Mother. Amen.

Meditating on Advent -- Introduction and Day 1

Technically speaking, Advent began yesterday, but as I only got this idea today, I hope you'll forgive me for not being super good at planning or getting my act together! I was thinking today about what I want to do for Advent and came across an idea that another blogger I know had about writing a little haiku each day to kinda help slow down and prepare our hearts for Christmas. This blogger is hosting it at her blog and even providing prompts too. I first thought, "hey, what a great idea! I should do that!" And then as I thought about it some more, I realised that given my verbosity, there would be almost no way I could restrict myself to a haiku. I mean, can you imagine me trying to do a short thought on Advent in 17 syllables? Eeek! Gives me anxiety just thinking about it, y'all!

So, no haiku for me. Instead, I'm going to take the idea of brief meditations and share briefly each day on the Gospel reading for that day. I tried to do this last year and it was an abysmal failure. I think it's because I'd just come off doing Write 31 Days in October and trying to keep writing a lot in November and didn't rest enough. This though, I should be able to do. Since I'm a bit behind, this will serve as both my introduction and my catch up from yesterday's Gospel.

Yesterday's Gospel: Luke 21:25-28, 34-36

"Be vigiliant at all times and pray that you have the strength to escape the tribulations that are imminent and to stand before the Son of Man."

I think this verse really sums up the entirety of the Christian life when it comes to what our purpose on earth truly is. Jesus tells us in Matthew's Gospel that the two greatest commandments are to love God and love our neighbour as ourselves (Matthew 22:36-40). Part of being vigilant so that we are ready "to stand before the Son of Man" when he comes again in glory is live our lives as though He is coming at any moment. Our entire purpose in life should be to follow those two greatest commandments so that when He comes again, we will be ready to stand before Him.

So why such a dark sounding passage during Advent? Well, it's simple really. Advent is a season of waiting and preparation for the birth of the newborn King. It is a time when we ready our hearts to once again come to the manger and adore Him. Likewise, it is also a time to prepare our hearts for His Second Coming -- or Advent -- when He will, as the passage from Luke says, come in a cloud with power and great glory.

At Christmas He is the Word Made Flesh and on that last day, He is the Risen and Glorified King of Kings who will put all His enemies under His feet. Our celebration of Advent is both preparation to celebrate His Incarnation and a reminder to ready ourselves for when He comes again.

Until tomorrow...

Sunday, November 15, 2015

Five Minute Friday: Weary

This chapter of Psalms gets me every. single. time. It is SO true to the experience of despair and the weariness that comes from fighting a mental illness. It's one I have prayed many many times.
This isn't something that is easy for me to talk about and that's saying something. I talk about a lot of things on this blog that are universally considered hush-hush and things that are difficult at best to talk about with someone you trust -- much less publishing them for the entire world to see. The thing is though, if I don't talk about it, then the likelihood that someone else who is struggling with these things will start talking about it becomes less. Don't get me wrong. It's not that I like talking about depression, self-injury, PTSD, suicide, therapy, etc. It's that I need to talk about these things -- for myself and for the benefit of others who might need to hear it or find some solidarity in my words.

I have been kinda quiet with my writing of late and haven't participated in the Five Minute Friday community much at all in the last several weeks. Just haven't been able to summon the words to talk about bacon (gasp!) or dancing or anything else. This week's prompt though, just hit me where I live in a big way.

WEARY

There's a lot I could say about this word, but as I said, I need to say something that isn't easy for me to say, so here goes....

I struggle with suicide.