Five Minute Friday: Five

It's been a while since I've linked up with my friends in the Five Minute Friday community, but for the first time in some weeks, I actually had a decent idea for the prompt. Granted, the idea came to me as I was falling asleep last night, but I managed to remember it, so here it is! 

FIVE

Five Things I Love About Fall

As of this past Thursday, it is officially fall. Where I live, the first day of fall never quite feels like fall, so it's hard to get into the fall state of mind. Even after the official first day of fall, the temps remain summer like in the 90s during the day and dropping into the upper 70s at night. The trees are still mostly clad in green and short sleeves and shorts still abound everywhere you look. That said last Friday night, I saw a graphic from a local meteorologist on Twitter with the comment that after Sunday, we would get to say goodbye to the 90s! The graphic showed the highs and lows for the next week or so and I nearly squealed when I saw that the last day on it had a low of 56! Huzzah! As it is Thursday again today, I can say that it's officially FALL!!! The temps the past few days have been AMAZING! Today was absolutely gloriously gorgeous with clear sunny skies and temperatures that didn't get above about 75. With the advent of these fabulous temperatures, it brings to mind all the many things that I love about this time of year, so without further ado, here are FIVE things I love about fall!

1. Fall leaves - I've loved gazing at fall foliage since I was a young girl. There's something so lovely and magical about how the leaves turn from the greens of summer to the sunny yellows, subdued browns, bright oranges, and flaming reds of autumn. My mother used to say that the trees were exchanging their summer dresses for fall ones. As a girl, I loved to imagine the trees standing front of a mirror trying on their new colours before deciding what to "wear."

2. Pumpkin Spice Lattes - Nowadays, there's pumpkin spice everything. You can walk through the aisles of your local grocery stores and find cookies, cream cheese, cereals, breads, ice cream, cakes, air fresheners, soaps, and even deodorant! The thing that I think started it all is the Starbucks' Pumpkin Spice Latte. The popularity of the PSL is so big these days that it's almost a little bit uncool to say that you like them, but I'm not ashamed. I LOVE a pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks! There's something about them that never fails to help reduce my stress levels and make me feel calm. 

3. Soups and Stews -- I am very happy to eat a bowl of soup or stew or chowder any time of the year, but there's nothing quite like a steaming bowl of soup on a chilly fall day that makes you feel good inside. Some soups and stews -- like chili or creamy butternut squash -- are the kind of thing that just begs to be made and eaten when the mercury starts dropping and I am all too happy to oblige. In fact, as far as chili goes, I am chomping at the bit for things to get cold enough to make it because it just doesn't seem nearly as good when the weather is warmer as it does on a crisp fall night.

4. Snuggly Blankets -- Where we live in the south, summers are spent with ceiling fans whirring and lightweight sheets and covers when you sleep, but I really look forward to when it cools off so I can break out my fuzzy, snuggly blankets. I love to sit on the couch on a cool morning, watching TV with my first cup of coffee with a big fuzzy blanket draped across my lap. One of my favourite memories made in the last four years is snuggling with my youngest, GB, sharing one of those blankets while she watches Daniel Tiger and I drink my coffee. I'm not really a big fan of mornings, but when she snuggles up to me like that, it makes everything -- including the fuzzy blanket we share -- that much better. 

5. More Energy, Less Sweat -- One of the things that I like least about summer is the fact that the heat and humidity do more than just make me uncomfortable and frizzy haired. They are so oppressive at times that they drain my energy to the point that I just don't feel like doing much of anything. The heat of the summer also means that I wind up sweating a lot more than normal which also contributes to the lack of energy. When the temperatures finally cool off, I often find that I suddenly feel like I have a burst of energy that I didn't have before. My favourite thing is when I step outside for the first time after things cool off and can really feel the difference in the air temp, it's like someone has hit me with a little bit of sugar to my blood stream. It's not what I'd call invigorating, but it definitely energises me. I love being able to sleep more comfortably and without waking up feeling slightly sweaty. It's bliss! 

Bonus Thing I Love About Fall: My beloved patron saint, Pope St. John Paul II, has his feast day during the fall on October 22nd! I can't wait to celebrate his feast day in a few weeks!

What are you favourite things about fall? Tell me about them in the comments!

Monday Joys -- July 11, 2016

I'm a couple of days late in getting to my Monday Joys post, but when you see my list, I think you'll understand!

1. Appointment with Pendragon -- always a good thing, but a much needed thing this past week as things had been very difficult the week before. Ended on a good note as we talked about the weekend to come.

2. Voxing with my buddy Tara and hearing all about her awesome week last week.

3. The Five Minute Friday Twitter party on Thursday night -- couldn't do much chatting as I was exhausted from my day and still had stuff to do, but it's always good to see everyone even if all I do is pop in and say hi.

4. Finally had a doctor's appointment w/my regular doctor after about 14-16 months of not seeing him. I was down in my weight by 8 pounds, which he seemed pleased with and I was genuinely glad to report that I've been making some strides in improving my mental health. He ordered labs for cholesterol and I got a phone call on Monday afternoon that my cholesterol numbers were good.

5. Meeting with Fr. B for spiritual direction and prayer. He gave me a very special gift that he picked up in Rome for me. It was a third class relic of Pope St. John Paul II! I loved him even before I became Catholic and have felt a special affection and kinship with him for a long time, but that has only increased since he's been canonized as a saint. Fr. B blessed me with the relic and then gave it to me. I cried tears of joy which only increased when he told me that not only had he brought that back, but that he'd prayed for me at Pope St. John Paul II's tomb while he was in Rome. What a blessing!

6. Appointment with Dr. D for EMDR. It was a very intense appointment as we tackled one of the harder parts of my trauma memory, but I think it was a fruitful appointment. He said that he was very optimistic about my progress and about my future progress.

7. Left Friday morning for Atlanta, Georgia for a "retreat." I put that last word in quotes because although we call it a retreat, it's not a very spiritual kind of thing. It's actually a huge meetup of a group of my friends that I met online some ten years ago. We're a community of women (well mostly women, but we do have a couple of men in the group too) who all practice natural family planning (aka NFP). While a large percentage of us are Catholic, there are a number of different faiths represented from non-Catholic Christian to LDS to Orthodox Jewish as well as some women who do not profess any kind of faith at all. We live all across the USA for the most part, although we also have a number of ladies who live in Canada, and a few more who are in other countries around the world. Every two years, we have a "retreat" where we meet up in a particular city for a weekend of hanging out, talking, laughing, and getting to know one another face to face. The only really spiritual thing we usually do is that we go to the Saturday night vigil Mass together (mostly us Catholics), but even that is a fun experience. I went to my first such retreat two years ago in Kansas City, Missouri and had such a blast that I told Gray I was putting him on notice that in two years, I'd be going to wherever the next one was and to just plan on being without me that weekend. This year, I told him that I'd be going to the one in 2018 even before I left for Atlanta!

It was an amazing weekend! I met several ladies I'd wanted to meet for a long time, reconnected with ladies I met last time, and enjoyed seeing a few of them that I've gotten to know fairly well over the years (who live in my home state). I also felt incredibly loved all weekend long and so supported. That support was very important when I had a flashback on Sunday afternoon at a restaurant. I was so embarrassed by it, but the ladies were so loving, understanding, and supportive that it helped me manage that difficulty much easier than I would have if I'd been alone.

8. Ended my weekend on Monday morning when I took a quick trip to the Atlanta IKEA store after leaving the hotel. I'd never been to an IKEA before, so it was a lot of fun to walk around and see what it was all about. I also grabbed a quick bite in their restaurant before getting on the road to come home. I also bought a few things and made plans to return another day when I have more time to look and perhaps buy something bigger (like furniture) that we need.

9. Seeing my kids again after such a long weekend and being enveloped in their hugs and declarations of how much they missed me and love me.

10. The Barnyard Pimp sandwich from The Pig and The Pint in College Park, GA <--- YUM. SO much YUM! The remainder of the retreatants and I went out to dinner there on Sunday night and 4 of the 7 of us ordered that sandwich. It was marinated fried chicken, sharp cheddar cheese, bacon, avocado, and an apple butter barbecue sauce on an onion roll. As if all that weren't enough, I had their ridiculously delicious loaded mashed potatoes for a side and a Crispin blackberry pear hard cider to drink. Y'all. Just Y'ALL. It was all SO good! We decided that it was our favourite meal of the weekend.

11. Speaking of meals, Friday night's meal at the retreat was super fun too. We kinda all went different ways for dinner that night and I went with a group of seven other ladies (8 of us total) to a local Mexican place down the road from the hotel. We ordered two pitchers of margaritas (trying to be economical since we all wanted one) and although we didn't need the alcohol to turn on our laughter, it certainly increased the giggles. I only had a very small drink since I was driving and it's good that I limited myself because any more than that very small drink and I'd have been over the legal limit for sure. Those margaritas were seriously strong. One of the ladies commented, "They weren't playing around. I think they must have put a gallon of tequila in those two pitchers!" The food was very good and we all enjoyed it. We enjoyed lots of conversation -- which was punctuated with raucous gales of laughter -- along with the food. As we sat waiting for our bills at the end of the meal, we looked up and suddenly saw the staff approaching with a pair of plates and two sombreros. One of the men was carrying a pair of cymbals too. When they reached our table, they put a sombrero on one of the ladies and then put one on me! I was totally surprised! Then they put a plate of sopapilla drizzled with chocolate syrup and covered with whipped cream in front of me and my friend with the other sombrero. We looked at each other in astonishment. "Did you do this?" "No! Did you?" "No!" The entire table shook with laughter as the eight of us tried to figure out who had done this. While all of this was going on, the staff was singing, "Happy Birthday" to us while the man played his cymbals and we laughed uproariously. No one could figure out who had set this up. See, my birthday is in March and my friend's is in February, so neither of us was anywhere near celebrating our birthdays! I'm giggling just thinking about it. We had so much fun that KJ and I have declared that July 8th is, forevermore, our shared NFP birthday. On Saturday morning, one of the ladies who had heard the story of our "birthday" celebration gave both of us a "birthday" card with the inscription, "Happy NFP Birthday!" It was absolutely perfect.

With a bit of luck, next week's edition will be posted on Monday instead of Wednesday. I thought about it on Monday night, but was so tired that I decided it was probably a good idea for me to try and sleep. Then I took one more day to rest up a bit before attempting to write. I had such a great weekend that I needed a day and a half to recover!

Until next week!

Monday Joys - July 4th, 2016

My friend Tara over at Praying on the Prairie does this weekly post called Sunday Blessings where she recaps her week by counting her blessings. They can be really big things like an answered prayer or small things like a text from a friend. I've long enjoyed reading her posts and have thought about doing something similar but have yet to hit upon a way that I want to do it. Well, today being July 4th and having had a pretty good day, I got sort of reflective in my Facebook status update. As I was rereading what I'd written, it occurred to me that all of the things I had listed were little blessings. That's when it hit me that the way I want to do this is try and list my little joys each week. As I was considering this post, it occurred to me that a good reason to try to start getting into the habit of doing this each week and doing it on Mondays rather than Sundays is twofold:

• Depression and PTSD often make it hard for me to see anything as joyful, even when it is. Doing this each week may help me be more mindful as I go about my week of the times when joy shines into the cracks of my day to day life. 
• Mondays are a day that I dread for a number of reasons. I have hated them since I was a child. Mondays mean that you either have to go to school or work or if you're like me and you're a stay at home mom, it means you're alone with the kids and no adult conversation or interaction. It's often a big downer after the weekend and especially so if you've had a really awesome weekend or are coming off a fun vacation. I guess the thought is if I sort of refocus my Mondays a bit by listing the previous week's joys and blessings, that it won't be quite as onerous.

I can't promise that my list will be nearly as long as Tara's is each week, but I can promise that there will be little joys. So, without further ado, here's the first installment of Monday Joys!

1. A vox from my friend Tara - so good to hear her voice. I've been missing her!

2. A long chat with my first cousin J. We talked for a good two and a half hours! It was like old times and I can't wait to do it again.

3. My weekly spiritual direction meeting with my priest, Fr. B. This week was very hard, but Father was so patient, gentle, and compassionate with me. He also reminded me of some very important things -- one of which is that he's always praying for me, Gray, and our family.

4. Fr. B gave me a second class relic of St. Brother André Bessette! He said for me to "hold onto it", so I'm not sure if he means me to keep it for good, but even if not, I am honoured to keep it for a time. St. Brother André was known for having a gift of healing in this life and his intercession as a saint has been attributed to numerous miraculous healings and cures.

5. A 30 minute long aromatherapy deep tissue massage on Thursday following my appointment with Dr. D for EMDR. My body had been so tense from all the stresses of the week (very rough week emotionally and spiritually) that I needed to have all those knots worked out. I hadn't planned on doing it, but I think my guardian angel must have nudged me in that direction because I suddenly had the idea and knew that I just had to do it. It was AMAZING. After the massage, I had a complimentary steam shower which was such a refreshing thing in and of itself. I actually had a cool shower but enjoyed steam coming from the vents and the combination of that with the massage left me feeling so totally relaxed and calm. It was nice to feel all clean on my drive home too!

6. Panera Bread's blood orange lemonade is, quite simply, THE BOMB. I could drink it several glasses of it every single day. With the mercury in the mid to upper 90s and the humidity so heavy that you feel like you're walking through a steaming oven, it's the perfect way to help you cool off, quench your thirst, and re-energize. Yes, it's a little pricey (about $2.19-2.59, depending on size) but if you're like me and you want more than one glass, it's worth it because the refills are FREE. I highly recommend a big glass of it paired with the Green Goddess Cobb Salad with Chicken for a light and refreshing lunch or dinner when it's too hot to cook or you just want something filling, but not too heavy. I recommend the lemonade all by itself as well!

7. Hamburgers made and grilled by my hubby Gray for our 4th of July repast. I enjoyed mine with sliced tomatoes, sharp cheddar cheese, dill pickle chips, mayo and ketchup. YUM!

8. This afternoon M2 decided to put on one of the digital music channels that comes w/our satellite package. She chose "classic rock" and soon the house was filled with The Eagles, Lynard Skynard, The Beatles, Three Dog Night, and Queen, among others. She and her sisters jammed out and I grabbed our littlest girl, GB, and tried to teach her some dance moves. That evolved into her sisters wanting to dance with me too and pretty soon we were all swaying, twirling, and grooving to the beat. The best was when "Joy to the World" by Three Dog Night came on. SO much fun!

9. As it's the 4th of July, some fireworks were in order. AB had spotted some leftover fireworks from last year in our garage about a week ago and was chomping at the bit to light them off tonight. I stepped out to one of the local fireworks sellers and bought a few sparklers, some cherry snappers (those paper snaps you throw at the pavement), bottle rockets, and a package of really pretty fireworks that came with their own mortar to use for launching them. The girls had fun with the sparklers and the cherry snappers and we all enjoyed the bottle rockets and other fireworks. We also enjoyed the fireworks being set off by our neighbours down the street, around the corner, and about two streets over as they lit up the sky.

10. Dessert tonight was yummy -- store bought apple pie and vanilla bean ice cream. Simple, classically American, and just perfect!

11. Bedtime prayers tonight with my girls were a quiet kind of comfort.

12. Sitting in the grass with GB in my lap and her big sisters snuggled close while we watched the fireworks made my heart swell with love.

13. All the excitement of getting ready to see all my girlfriends this coming weekend at our every other year "retreat." I know these gals from an online community and consider many of them dear friends. It will be so wonderful to see all their faces again and hug their necks and chat and giggle until our voices are hoarse.

14. The blessing of my big brother Chez and my friend Rikert who are always so good to pray for me when I need it. I am so thankful for them both and their support.

15. The fun of the Thursday night Five Minute Friday Twitter party. I wasn't as active this week, but I always enjoy hanging with that community and chatting about our week.

16. For M2 who leaned over after communion on Sunday as I knelt crying (as I frequently do) and said, "Momma, I just had the thought that I should pray for you, so I prayed and asked God to give you some good sleep and no bad dreams. I realised that I hadn't really prayed for you like that before and that I should, so I did. I'm sorry I didn't before now." That caused even more tears as I leaned over, kissed the top of her head, and embraced her in a hug. I told her how much I appreciated that. Her sweet tender heart just bowls me over sometimes and this was definitely one of those moments.

I guess that's all for this week. With any luck, next Monday, I'll be back to do it all over again. Until then...

Update on stuff

Hey friends! This is going to be a longer update than I normally do, just to give you a heads up.

I know it's been a while since I've written in this blog, so I wanted to pop in and give a quick update. Life has been kind of stressful in the last month or so and it's made me struggle with trying to find any inspiration. It seems that occasionally I get a particular blog post idea in my head and then by the time I have the energy to get around to it, it's gone. The other thing that's been happening a lot lately is that I just never seem to have the energy to manage even opening my laptop so I can write something.

So what's going on in my world? Well, some transitions, a significant milestone, and a few other things.

The transitions are mostly to do with some changes with Gray's work schedule and how that's affecting me. It's been about two weeks since the changes went into effect and I'm still struggling to get used to it. There were some real frustrations with the changes early on as I was afraid they were going to make it worse for me with regard to what I need to do to see to my mental health (counselling, spiritual direction, and EMDR therapy), but after several conversations together with Gray, a few with Pendragon, and a few between Gray and his boss, the knot of tension in my gut that's been there for a good three weeks has finally eased.

As for milestones, well, Miss AB had her First Holy Communion on April 30th. She looked absolutely beautiful and it was such a joyful and meaningful Mass for her and our whole family. My awesome mom-in-law Balinda flew down the Thursday beforehand and stayed w/us the whole weekend. My folks came on the day along with AB's godmother (plus her hubby and 3 kids) and her godfather, who drove in from out of state. After Mass, we enjoyed the party in the parish hall and then went out to the Olive Garden to celebrate w/my folks, Balinda, and AB's godfather. It was a wonderful meal and I think everyone had a great time -- most of all AB who received a whole bunch of presents from everyone.

As for the rest, the bulk of it has been me getting ready for my trip to New York City to walk in my second Out of the Darkness Overnight Walk (click the link if you'd like to donate as I'm still working toward my goal!). I've been doing a good bit of walking at the gym and the park to get my body in better shape to actually do the walking that's going to be required. Additionally, I finally got my hotel and flight nailed down and am steadily working on the things I want to do in my limited time there that weekend. I've never been to NYC and have wanted to go since I was a kid, so this is super exciting for me. I just wish I had more than just the weekend to spend exploring and seeing all the wonderful things NYC has to offer. On my list are:

• a visit to the MoMA (to see Van Gogh's The Starry Night)
• Mass at St. Patrick's Cathedral on Sunday
• cannolis to enjoy and take home from some luscious bakery in Little Italy
• pictures of as many famous sights as possible (I promised my girls I'd try to get a good one of Miss Liberty!)
• shopping to buy a few souvenirs to take home 

• and of course, walking 16-18 miles for suicide prevention from Saturday night into Sunday morning! 

I don't know if I'll be able to get it all in, but I'm definitely going to try. I learned a lot last year about the event I'm participating in and what NOT to do, so I feel much better prepared this year. I'll fly home Monday afternoon, so I won't have much time on Monday to do much of anything.

One other thing of note that has been going on of late is that with much fear and trepidation, I began seeing a psychologist, Dr. D (not to be confused with my regular therapist Pendragon), who specialises in PTSD and is trained and certified to do EMDR treatments. Given my past experiences with mental healthcare professionals, it was really hard to go to that first appointment. Gray went with me to offer support, encouragement, and took over the responsibility of filling out the requisite new patient paperwork. My stomach, back, shoulders, and arms were tied up in knots of tension and anxiety and despite Pendragon's very positive view of Dr. D, I didn't want to go through with the appointment at all. It took all I had to make myself follow him down the hall from the waiting room to his office. Once I got through that appointment, it made it a little easier the next time. I'll admit though that although I've now seen Dr. D three times, there's still a part of me which is nervous about fully letting my guard down. Overall though, it's been a positive experience.

Dr. D is a nice man, has a decent sense of humour, and seems quite concerned to make the experience of therapy as comfortable for me as possible. He's also very smart and knows a lot about PTSD in a way that Pendragon doesn't. I've already learned more about it than I knew before and given Dr. D's expertise, I now have a formal diagnosis of PTSD. I wasn't looking for a diagnosis, but now that I have one, I feel a kind of relief. That may sound odd, but one of the lies that PTSD sometimes tells you is that what you went through wasn't that bad or that you're blowing it all out of proportion. In other words, you start to feel like you're a bit crazy for feeling the way you do. Having a formal diagnosis of PTSD gives validity to the feelings I've had and the symptoms I've been experiencing and makes me feel less like I'm just crazy.

So lots of good things and a few very challenging things as well, but overall, life has been a bit better if a bit exhausting. I don't know how much writing I'm going to be doing between now and the beginning of next month, but I'm aiming to at least try and write something once a week instead of letting so much time elapse. My apologies for such a long post and my gratitude if you actually read all of this navel-gazing!

Until next time...

A Few Links for Wednesday

I don't often pass along links, but I save them a lot. Facebook is a place where I find a number of them. If you're on Facebook, did you know that you can save links? It's super easy. Just click (or tap if you're on your phone) the little arrow in the upper right hand corner of the post containing the link and select "save link." It will add the link to your "Saved" page. Then you can go back and look at your links at your leisure. I use this all the time when I run across something that looks interesting, but I don't have time to really read it or look at it right that moment. You can also use this feature to save pictures, videos, and posts (yours or others' posts) to look at later. I love it for all those yummy looking recipe videos that are floating around on Facebook. Anyhow, here's a few links that I've found recently that I thought you might enjoy having a look at. It's a hodgepodge of stuff, but life is a bit of a hodgepodge as well, right?

1. Catholics routinely make the sign of the cross at the beginning and ending of prayers, during Mass, and as a part of other rituals and rites. If you don't understand what it means, it can seem an empty gesture, but the reality is that it's full of meaning. This short video (only 2 minutes, 35 seconds) explains three awesome things that this gesture means.

If you're interested in learning more, this article "21 Things We Do When We Make the Sign of the Cross" from Catholic Exchange is a great list of things that the sign means. Even if you aren't Catholic, I highly encourage you to give either the video or article a look. It's really interesting stuff and will give you a greater understanding of this beautiful gesture of Catholic faith.

2. Since I have quite a few friends who, like me, have kids, I've seen this a few times, but it is really neat. It's a video that shows you how to make your own watercolour paints! Seriously. That is SO cool! I haven't tried it yet, but I really want to give it a whirl and see how they come out. It looks really easy and involves ingredients that most folks already on hand in their kitchen. I could see this also being something fun for grandparents, aunts/uncles, babysitters, or teachers to try. Crafty!

Homemade Watercolors
Posted by Skillshare on Tuesday, February 2, 2016

3. I am an unabashed Anglophile and Hibernophile. This means I really, really love most things that are British or Irish. :) Tea is one of my favourite things and it is so perfectly British and Irish that it might as well be a part of their collective DNA. It's so ubiquitous that they sometimes don't even bother saying "tea" at all, but will instead say to you, "Let's have a cuppa. I'll put the kettle on." Many British offices have tea trollies which are a cart that's pushed around the office so you can grab a cuppa and a biscuit (that would be a cookie to us Americans) for your break or to enjoy at your desk. People drink it black, with lemon, white (with milk), and with or without sugar. A particularly British thing is what many Americans refer to as either "afternoon tea" or "high tea." These are used interchangeably, but did you know they're not necessarily the same thing? This brief article highlights the similarities and differences. A word of caution though: it's likely to make you crave a cuppa and some scones! Here's the Difference Between Afternoon Tea and High Tea!

4. Because I love a good recipe, how about some Samoa Brownies? Om, nom, nom, NOM!!! A friend posted this on FB and I had to save it. They look so delectable and like they'd be pretty easy to make. Here's a picture of the finished product, courtesy of the blog Incredible Recipes from Heaven:

And of course, the link to the recipe! The blog post has step by step pictures to make it easier to see what it should look like as you go alone. Mmmmm....

5. And finally, but, I think probably the most important link of all, this link of a letter "To the Husband With the Wife Who Has Depression" If you don't look at any of the other links on this page, please give this a read. It is written from the perspective of the wife struggling with depression to her husband. I could have written every single word. As I read it, I found myself getting teary-eyed and choked up. So much of the thoughts in it resonate with me and my experience. It expresses not only how hard things are for the wife, but what she needs from her husband in the way of support and understanding. One thing that is different from my experience is that Gray actually knows all of this. I am so incredibly grateful that he does, so I posted this to my FB timeline and tagged him. I also added the following note to him:

I love you so much for knowing all this, for holding me fast through the darkest hours, for helping me grow beyond the place where I stay silent all the time, for being my safe place to fall when I do find reaching out hard, for all the sacrifices you've made for me both big and small, and for loving me mind, body, and soul with the love of Christ. I could say all this a thousand times a day and it wouldn't be enough to adequately express how grateful I am that God joined us together or how deeply I love you. You are my heart and my beloved. Always. xoxoxo 

Hope you've enjoyed one or more of these links! I'll share a few more another time. Have a great Wednesday!

Sunday Funday 2

Hi all! I'm back for another Sunday Funday!

The past couple of weeks have been kinda hectic and stressful, but I've been trying to be good with avoiding sweets late at night. Y'all, I caved this week. I've had a powerful craving for ice cream for about three weeks and I finally gave in this past Wednesday night. I went to our local Publix grocery store with the plan of getting a half gallon of Publix brand Chocolate Trinity for Gray and a half gallon of some other Publix flavour for me. They have all the usual flavours like chocolate, strawberry, mint chocolate chip, vanilla, neopolitan, etc, but my favourites are the limited edition flavours that only appear at certain times of the year. I've had so much in my head lately that I completely forgot what time of year it was, so when I got to the ice cream section and looked through the gleaming glass doors, I got giddy. This is what I saw:

Pumpkin Pie Ice Cream -- my absolute FAVOURITE limited edition flavour. SO good! I had this flavour for the first time at a friend's son's 2nd birthday party about 7 years ago and was immediately hooked. I think they must put crack in it or something. Seriously. That year I think I bought about 5 or 6 cartons of it between when I had it at the birthday party in October and when they finally stopped making it for the year in December. Every year since then, it has been one of my favourite ways of celebrating that fall is here. This year, instead of the regular Publix brand black carton with a nice looking piece of pumpkin pie on the front, they really went all out. Check out the back of the carton. SO cute!

In case you can't read the words, it says, "Buckle your hat, Raise a spoon, And give thanks for dessert." I love the little Pilgrims, the fall leaves and even the bowl of ice cream with its fall leaf decoration. The cup of coffee is also a nice touch, because who doesn't love a cup of coffee or something steamy hot with dessert after Thanksgiving dinner?

I also love how they included this little bit of trivia on the carton about the little Pilgrim salt and pepper shakers. I had no idea they'd been around that long, but that could be because we've only had Publix in our area for about 15 years or so. About three or four years ago, they started airing a Publix commercial in November that features the little Pilgrims sitting amongst a huge Thanksgiving spread. It's such a great commercial that I think they have aired it every years since it first came out. It's one of those that makes you giggle and smile when you see it. Here, have a look:

This is the top of the carton. Notice how the Pilgrims expressions are different here and they're kinda giving each other a sideways glance! They're very expressive for inanimate objects, don't you think? You can actually buy a pair of these for your Thanksgiving table in pretty much every Publix store around the holidays. They're usually about $5-6, I think, so not too expensive. One of these days, I may get some for our holiday table. Need to do a bit more organization first!

And this is the ice cream....oh sooooo good! It's a pale orange coloured pumpkin flavoured ice cream with pumpkin pie spices, bits of pie crust (which somehow stays kind of crunchy), and a whipped cream swirl throughout. I could seriously eat half the carton in one sitting. As it is, I usually finish it in about four servings! Oh and it's seriously awesome with a tiny bit of the Chocolate Trinity flavour in the bottom of the bowl.

 Earlier in the week, I was at Publix getting dinner items and as I passed the dairy case, these jumped out at me! Y'all know what a nerd I am, so I had a hard time not grabbing one or both of these. They also had an espresso chocolate flavoured Darth Vader one and I discovered online that there's two more. One is a hazelnut flavoured C-3PO and the other is a spiced latte flavoured Chewbacca! FUN! I may need to find the Chewbacca one because I love Chewy and spiced anything in my coffee always sounds yummy this time of year. I told a friend online that it would have been awesome if they'd done a Princess Leia Cinnamon Bun one. I mean, come on. How awesome would that have been?

In other food related news, we had some pretty tasty homemade tamales this evening courtesy of our parish's hispanic ministry. They were selling them to raise funds for some of the projects they do and they were $2 apiece or $15/dozen. M2 has been looking forward to the tamale sale since last Sunday when she spotted the announcement in the weekly bulletin! I wasn't sure how she was going to like them, but she seemed to really enjoy the chicken one she had. AB enjoyed hers too, but our littlest, Miss GB, wouldn't touch them. Hooray for the picky almost-3 year old phase! (Not!)

So that's my fun stuff for this week! See you next week!

Sunday Funday 1

I thought since a lot of the stuff I write is more serious in nature, that it might be a good idea to take a break from that on Sundays. With that in mind, I give you something I'm going to call Sunday Funday. The basic idea behind it is that I'll be sharing something lighthearted with you. It might be a fun memory from the week, an anecdote from my kids, a song that makes me smile or feel good, some fun experience I had, a neat product I like (or one I've just found), etc. You get the idea. I may not do this every Sunday and may occasionally write a serious post too, but I'll try to come up with something a bit more fluffy for Sundays :)

Before I get started, a quick shout out to my friend Tara at Praying on the Prairie because her Sunday Blessings posts are kind of the inspiration for this idea. Thanks friend!

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So for this week, I wanted to share with you something I really rarely share with anyone. It's not that it's such a big secret really, just not something I tend to talk about much because I like to talk about other stuff more. So what is it?

It's my must-have list of personal care items.

Yeah, I told you this was going to be fluffy :) These are the things that I use on a regular basis and carry with me if I'm going to be away from home overnight. I call them personal care items rather than "beauty" items because they make me feel cared for physically when I use them. I suppose I could call them self-care items too since they are part of what I do to self-care. 

****Oh, and Gray, feel free to not read any further. I know this isn't exactly your cup of tea so I don't expect you to read all of this. Love you, sweetheart!****

Yeah, I know it's a little beat-up looking. Truth be told, I think this jar was one of Gray's that I swiped.

1. Carmex lip balm -- I love this stuff. Seriously. It's one of the best things for chapped lips that I've ever found. I prefer having it in the little 0.25 oz jars and applying it with a finger, but I've used the squeeze tubes and even the regular roll-up tubes (like ChapStick) too. I always apply this at night before I go to sleep and whenever I feel like my lips are a little dry. I also use it occasionally for the odd pimple or cold sore and it helps a lot. I have been known to tuck it in my purse or pocket if I'm going to be gone from home all day.

This stuff has such a pleasant smell!

2. Olay Night Firming Cream -- This is my go-to moisturizer for night time, although I do use it during the day time if I need to (just a thinner layer). It has a great feel to it and soaks in nicely without leaving your skin feeling greasy or bogged down. I usually spread it on a bit thicker at night and I really enjoy the ritual of smoothing it into my face and neck. There's something rather soothing about feeling a good face cream dissipate into your clean skin as you rub it in. Since I'm approaching 40 and already have a few faint lines started, I'm kinda thinking maybe this will help keep those lines from deepening and slow down the emergence of new ones (it's firming and all, you know?). Whether or not that happens, it's still a nice little bedtime ritual and makes me feel good. I also use the Equate (aka Walmart) brand of this stuff too.

This is the lightest colour shade available. Thankfully, it actually works! #PalePeopleProblems

3. Covergirl BB Cream -- This is a relatively new find for me. I'd read about BB creams, but never tried one until earlier this year. It's supposed to do all these amazing things for your skin, but I can't really tell that it does or doesn't. Mostly, I love it because it's not as heavy as a standard foundation, but not as light as a tinted moisturizer. It gives really nice coverage and goes on really easily. I usually use a little square makeup sponge to apply mine, but I have used my finger tips when I was in a hurry. I like this particular one because it has an SPF 21 in it which helps protect my Super Pale skin from getting too much sun. Given my family history of skin cancer, that's something I am concerned about too.

These things are SO handy!

4. Equate Makeup Remover Cleansing Towelettes -- This is what I use to remove that BB cream and other makeup products. I buy the Equate brand of these almost exclusively, but if you can't abide a store brand, these are equivalent to the Neutrogena brand makeup remover cleansing towelettes. The reason I buy the Equate brand is because they're SO much cheaper than the name brand. Plus, you can get them in a trial size pack which is awesome for travelling. I bought one of those for my trip to Boston this summer and had enough left to use it for my Five Minute Friday retreat weekend too. My favourite thing about these is how easy they are to use and well they work. You just grab one, wipe your face with it and the makeup comes right off. They smell nice and leave your face feeling clean and soft. Plus there's no need to rinse afterward, so they're perfect for someone who is perpetually sleep and energy deprived. I just wipe my face clean, toss the wipe in the garbage, and I'm done. I sometimes use these when I'm not wearing makeup but feel like my face is grimy and needs cleaning.

These were my colours for summer this year!

5. Nail polish -- Oh friends. This is a bit of an addiction, I think. I love me some nail polish. My bestie Sif and I are kinda hard-core about it. We love to paint our nails -- fingers and toes. There's something about having freshly painted fingernails and toenails that makes me feel pretty and feminine. Given that I'm not exactly a dainty woman, this is a big deal. The two bottles in the picture are what I wore a lot this past spring and summer. I used to love reds and pinks, but in the past couple of years, I've really gravitated toward blues -- teal, aqua, royal blue, TARDIS blue, sky, navy, sparkly -- all of them. They make me feel more youthful and fun as well as a little bit sophisticated. I also find that there's something sort of calming about wearing blue nail polish too.

Those are my top five personal care products. What are some of your favourite personal care must-haves?

Five Minute Friday: Favourite

Note: This post is my weekly contribution to the Five Minute Friday community that is hosted by Kate Motaung on her blog Heading Home. Click here for more information about Five Minute Friday and how you can get involved! To link up with all the other entries for today's prompt word, click here.

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This beats fast food burgers ANY day!

See that picture above? Yeah, I'm going to admit it. That's one of my favourite things to chow down on when I'm ridiculously hungry. I mean, it's a behemoth of a burger, so hunger is a good accessory to have when attempting it, right? Even hungry though, sometimes I can't finish it. Granted, the fries sitting beside it might be partially to blame. They are another favourite of mine. The place that makes this yummy burger and fries is one of our family's favourite places to go eat. It's pricier than McDonald's or Wendy's but the quality is SO much better and we get the good feelings that come from helping a local business and business owner stay afloat. The owner is a fantastic guy and has become a good friend. He's always helping out in the community and even takes canned food donations to donate to the local food pantry (and you get a free drink if you donate 2 cans -- neat, no?). He's also a fellow Catholic, so we talk faith a good bit when we go in there if he's around and not too busy. I'll be honest though. There have been times when I've gone to eat my favourite when it just didn't enthuse me at all. It wasn't that the recipe had changed or that the burger or fries were cooked differently.

It was all inside my head. I couldn't summon up any of the excitement or usual happy anticipation that comes along with a favourite food. I've had this happen with chocolate, ice cream, my favourite colour, favourite songs, favourite activities, favourite books and movies, etc. I've even had it happen with my fandoms -- and y'all know how I am about my fandoms.

It's one of the hallmarks of intense depression. In psychological terms, it's called anhedonia which means a loss of interest or pleasure in things that normally give a  person pleasure or interest them. It's when your favourite colour becomes blah and chocolate might as well taste like wallpaper paste. It's when you don't feel that familiar thrill of excitement when someone tells you that a new movie in your fandom is coming out soon.

In a word, anhedonia SUCKS. It really really sucks to have all the little joys of life fade away and it makes depression that much harder because one of the suggestions that is usually made to help alleviate the symptoms of depression is to focus on the little things and little joys of life. All those little favourites that normally help lift your spirits should be something that you can turn to when depression gets really black and miserable, but thanks to the nature of this beast, it's often hard to do that. 

So what do you do when your favourite this or that just isn't anymore?

First, you need to make sure you mention this loss of interest to your therapist. He or she needs to know this because it's a serious symptom. Not only that, but your therapist will likely have some ideas for helping you with it.

Second, try to engage with your favourite things anyway -- even if you look at them and the sight of them makes you want to scream swear words and hurl them across the room. I've been there and there have been days when I've engaged with them and days when I haven't. Hey, I didn't say it was easy. It's not. This is probably harder than talking to your therapist.

Third, be gentle with yourself if you don't manage to engage with your favourites anyway. Try to find new things that interest you if you can. If not, employ other self-care tactics until you're able to engage with your favourite things again. For example, my favourite colour is red. I have more red in my wardrobe (especially shirts) than I probably need. When my depression got very very bad at the beginning of this episode, the red disappeared because I couldn't look at it, much less wear it. It wasn't just red though. I tried to wear things that were other colours, but found myself repulsed and annoyed to the point that it was distracting and totally unhelpful, so I engaged in self-care. My self-care was to clothe myself in black from head to toe. That might seem an odd, counterintuitive sort of self-care thing, but it worked and it enabled me to focus more on treatment and life in general because it eliminated the frustration of everything feeling all wrong all the time. It's been almost 2.5 years since this episode began and the red went away and I still cannot wear it (or its derivatives like pink, magenta, etc.) much at all. I've branched out from the black some in the last 6 months and wear some blues, whites, greens, and dark purples, but little to almost zero red. I'm working on getting back to my favourite colour again, but I don't know when that will be -- and that's okay.

One final honest admission --- I've gone way over on my time limit for this week. Way over. Sorry Kate! I just got rolling and couldn't seem to stop. But this is all from the heart and it's where I am this week.

Join in the Five Minute Friday fun and link up your post at Kate Motaung's blog!

Halcyon

This is part of my April prompts series from the blog The Habit of Being. Each of the posts in this series will feature the prompt for that post as the post title. While I may sometimes use the current day's prompt, it is more likely that I will pick and choose as inspiration dictates. If you are interested in following along with the prompts or writing some of your own, here's the link to the page with April's prompts: http://thehabitofbeing.com/writealm/

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M2 and AB, ages 4.5 and 3.5, enjoying the fading sunlight at the beach in 2011.

I had to look this one up. I've heard the word and know how it's used, but wanted to be sure I was doing it justice. To that end, a quick Google of the definition reveals the following:

halcyon (adj) -- describes a period of time in the past that was idyllically happy and peaceful

Wednesday Wisdom - March 25, 2015

Because it's Wednesday on the week before Holy Week and my allergies are kicking my butt which means I'm heavily medicated and having difficulty stringing a thought or three together, here are a few memes, funny and wise to get you through Hump Day :) Enjoy!

#firstworldproblems

Or to quote Adam Savage: "I reject your reality and substitute my own!"

This is my sick twisted sense of humour peeking through.... :)

Sometimes you want to be held and sometimes not. Chocolate is always a good idea though!

From the new live-action version of Cinderella that just came out. Such a great message!

And often what is easy is not what is right. #lifelessons

The Doctor is funny, but after over 900 years of life, he also has moments of being very, very wise. 

Not funny or wise, but appropriate for March 25th. Happy Feast of the Annunciation! (Luke 1:26-38)

7 Quick Takes Friday - March 13, 2015

I've seen this link up for ages now and have always thought it looked like a fun one. I thought I'd give it a go today. If you want to join me with your own 7 Quick Takes, you can link up at This Ain't The Lyceum.

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1. It's Friday and it's Lent, so that means it's a meatless/fish only day. Normally we do fish (and we may do that tonight) but since I like to pretend I'm a domestic diva and that I might actually make some amazing meatless meal for my family, I enjoy looking at recipes. I found a list of 29 meatless meals at Buzzfeed that included several whose pictures made my mouth water.  Baked Spaghetti Squash and Cheese? Yes, please!

Here's the link to the recipe for the above gorgeousness: Baked Spaghetti Squash and Cheese

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2. Part of breaking the stigma of mental illness is changing the way we understand what mental illness is. For so long, these illnesses have been seen as something entirely different from any other bodily illness, simply because their source is in the brain. It is as though our brains are somehow not connected to the rest of us. Mental illness is just that -- illness. It needs to be viewed like any other illness so that there is no shame associated with having one or being treated for it. Think of it this way: you wouldn't think twice about seeing your doctor regularly for treatment of diabetes or be ashamed that you were undergoing chemotherapy for cancer. So it needs to be with mental illness. I saw this link via a friend on Facebook and I think it captures perfectly this idea: 

"I wear glasses. Could I manage without glasses? Yes, probably. I could squint a lot..."

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3. It just opened today (March 13th), but I can't wait to take my two big girls to go see this! I wasn't sure if it was going to be an appropriate adaptation for their ages (8 and 7), but after seeing a review from a friend who has a little girl their age and reading this review by Decent Films reviewer Steven Greydanus, this looks like one that will be a fun, entertaining, and family friendly good time. By the way, Steven Greydanus does good work with his website. He is Catholic and sometimes his reviews reflect that, but mostly, his movie reviews will give you a good idea of whether or not something is worth seeing and will definitely tell you if a so-called "family film" is worthy of the moniker. Plus, he's an all-around, genuinely nice guy (I met him once and had a great conversation about family and entertainment).

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4. I know I'm a little bit late in this, but because I am and always will be, a sci-fi geek, a little tribute to the late great Leonard Nimoy with some help from the next generation represented by Zachary Quinto. Rest in peace, Mr. Nimoy. #LLAP:

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5. The Village Chocolate Shoppe in Bennington, VA decided to try and break a Guinness World Record for the largest peanut butter cup, so they made one that was 230 pounds!!! Even better than the gigantic size and potential record breaking is the fact that once all the measurements were made, it was cut up and sold in pieces with the profits benefiting Project Against Violent Encounters, a charity which offers support and help to victims of domestic and sexual violence. Here's a picture, courtesy of Time.com, of the behemoth confection:

230 pounds of chocolate and peanut butter -- yes, please!!

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6. Gray shared this with me earlier in the week and it made me belly laugh. Even now, it still elicits a giggle. I love stuff that repeatedly makes me laugh. Laughter is helpful medicine for many ills. Without further ado.....*giggles*.....

*snort...giggle...snort....heeheehee...*

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7.  In case you haven't noticed, I love to share a good laugh. If you've never gone and read anything at Hyperbole and a Half, you absolutely owe it to your funny bone to go read. Allie Brosh is a genius and if her stories from her childhood with their accompanying drawings don't make you laugh, you might need a humor infusion. I mean, look at her blog header. How could you not love this?

L-R: The Alot, Simple Dog, Helper Dog, and the author

She also writes with a lot of bravery, honesty, and of course, humor about her struggles with depression (those posts have funny pictures too!). You can find those two posts here and here. My favourite posts of hers are:  

The God of Cake 

This Is Why I'll Never Be An Adult (where her illustration about ALL the things comes from!) 

The Alot is Better Than You at Everything 

and Sneaky Hate Spiral.

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Don't know if I'll manage to do this blog linkup every week, but I'm going to try! See you next week (hopefully)!

Five Minute Friday: Visit

Note: This post is my weekly contribution to the Five Minute Friday community that is hosted by Kate Motaung on her blog Heading Home. Click here for more information about Five Minute Friday and how you can get involved! To link up with all the other entries for today's prompt word, click here.

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Yeah, it's a Doctor Who travel reference. The Doctor loves to visit new places :)

I'll come clean. I am a very enthusiastic tourist. There are few things I love more than visiting a new place. There is something about seeing new things and new places that just thrills me. I love to explore all the streets, shops, cafes, and ins and outs of a place. I love to visit with the locals. I love to visit art museums and theatres and street markets. I love visiting historic sites and monuments and local places of interest. I love visiting new places in our hometown too. Just this morning, GB and I had to go run an errand and it took us near a new grocery store that opened about a week ago called Sprouts. I've never been to one of those before, so we decided to visit and check it out.

London Calling!

After my Five Minute Friday post last week about noticing London, I've kind of had it on the brain, so I thought I'd expand a little bit on that theme. Here's the first entry in what I hope will be a few about this city that I love so much! Once I write the second entry, I'll link up to it at the bottom of this one!

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-- quote from Samuel Johnson

I admit it. I am in love.

I am in love with a city and that city is London.

One Lovely Blog Award

I can hardly believe it, but I have been nominated for this award not once but three times recently. I am absolutely bowled over that even one person thought my natterings here are worthy of an award, but three? I am just so humbled. Thank you to all of you who were so generous and kind to nominate me for this.

The first nomination came from my fellow 31 Days blogger buddy, Charlotte whose blog really is very lovely and who is a genuinely lovely person too. The second nomination is from another 31 Days blogger buddy, Barbara who writes so eloquently about being a caregiver on her blog and is someone I'm so very glad to say is definitely a part of my online tribe! Finally, I was nominated by Tara, my sweet friend from 31 Days, whose stories about her mom's struggle with mental illness and her relationship with her mom touched my heart on so many days and inspired me to continue sharing my own story of mental illness. All of these ladies have been a wonderful encouragement to me as I've written my 31 days journey and I am very grateful to have met them and gotten to know them through this challenge.

A Reflection on Tea

I'll admit it. I start my day, every day, almost without exception, with a nice big mug of coffee. It is my eye opener and brain defogger and to be quite honest, I'm probably at least mildly addicted to the stuff. Despite this though, I am drawn to tea.

Big Block Sing Song

Yes, my kids probably watch too much TV sometimes, but we do try to keep a close rein on what they are watching and limit them to a couple of channels that are pretty safe. One of those is DisneyJr. I like that channel because there's a wide variety of different programs (although they sometimes seem to run marathons if you look at the schedule) and they don't really run commercials per se. One of the things they used to show a good bit between the various shows were these little animated shorts called Big Block Sing Song. They last about a minute to ninety seconds and they feature a rectangular block shaped character with a face and arms and legs who sings a little song about something. My big girls have long since loved these and find some of them hysterical (the one called "Moose" really is funny), but our youngest, Miss GB has discovered the joys of the Big Block Sing Song and it is really fun to watch her belly laugh at one in particular. I took a video of her giggling with her sisters this afternoon. Here's the video they were watching:

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_Bap_sr7yHQ

Hope that provides a little giggle for you or someone little that you love :)