Five Minute Friday: Visit

Note: This post is my weekly contribution to the Five Minute Friday community that is hosted by Kate Motaung on her blog Heading Home. Click here for more information about Five Minute Friday and how you can get involved! To link up with all the other entries for today's prompt word, click here.

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Yeah, it's a Doctor Who travel reference. The Doctor loves to visit new places :)

I'll come clean. I am a very enthusiastic tourist. There are few things I love more than visiting a new place. There is something about seeing new things and new places that just thrills me. I love to explore all the streets, shops, cafes, and ins and outs of a place. I love to visit with the locals. I love to visit art museums and theatres and street markets. I love visiting historic sites and monuments and local places of interest. I love visiting new places in our hometown too. Just this morning, GB and I had to go run an errand and it took us near a new grocery store that opened about a week ago called Sprouts. I've never been to one of those before, so we decided to visit and check it out.

Theology Wednesday: Fasting, Almsgiving, and Prayer

Normally this post is Theology Thursday, but given the significance of today, I thought I'd do it a day early. Today is Ash Wednesday and as such, it is the beginning of the liturgical season of Lent. On the outside, it might seem like Lent is a super somber, funereal type of season -- especially given the fact that all most non-liturgical Christians know about it is that people get ashes on their foreheads at the beginning of it and usually give up something they really like.

A Few Ideas for Lent

Even if you're not Catholic, you may be thinking about "giving something up" for Lent. I'm going to try to write a little bit about what Lent means for Catholics for this Thursday's edition of Theology Thursday, but until then, here's a link with a few ideas of things to either give up or add to your life this Lent which will help strengthen your walk with Christ and prepare your heart for Easter:

102 Things You Really Should Give Up for Lent

P. S. This link is from a Catholic youth group program called LifeTeen International, so it's aimed at high school age teens. It's funny, but has some great ideas for young and old alike!

Valentine's Day, Violence, and The Kingsmen

Gray and I had an experience yesterday that has left me a bit unsettled and needing to write about it. There may be spoilers, so note the warning below.

We went out for Valentine's Day on a date (kids stayed with my folks -- woohoo!) and after a rather yummy lunch at a local Japanese teppanyaki style restaurant, we went to see a movie. It was one that I wanted to see and Gray wasn't super enthused about, but he was being really sweet and letting me pick the movie as a bit of a gift to me for Valentine's Day. Normally we'd compromise, but even then, that usually means a movie that is only sort of what I'd like to see instead of something I really want to see. Yesterday we decided to see the spy/secret agent movie The Kingsment: The Secret Service.

I really wish I had let Gray pick the movie or we'd compromised.

Five Minute Friday: When

Note: This post is my weekly contribution to the Five Minute Friday community that is hosted by Kate Motaung on her blog Heading Home. Click here for more information about Five Minute Friday and how you can get involved! To link up with all the other entries for today's prompt word, click here.

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Times When My Life Was Touched and Changed

When I first realized at age 12 that "sad" didn't quite describe how I was feeling
When my ears first heard the words "my best friend"
When I first felt the swoop of freedom running through my veins at the words "you passed your driver's test.."

When I was afraid I would lose my mind if I could find no one to talk to about my home life
When my compassionate teacher and now dear friend Rikert heard my pain and helped me
When I looked through the window and watched my parents drive away
When I realized I needed help to deal with my depression

If you or someone you know is in crisis, call 1-800-273-8255 to talk to someone about what's going on and get help. This is the National Suicide Prevention hotline, but you don't have to be suicidal to use it. If you're depressed or grieving or lonely, you can call and talk to someone who is trained to listen and offer support!

When I realized that nothing was helping
When I was brave and tried medication for the first time
When I felt the thrill of acting with my peers at college
When my voice professor first praised my hard work and skills
When I began my own journey of faith

Sometimes you need a little humour as you're discovering faith for yourself.

When I experienced the baptism of the Holy Spirit
When I landed in London and began a wonderful adventure
When my depression intensified and my self-injury began
When I withdrew from college to get help
When I worked and dreamed of having my own place in a new city and a new part of the country
When my dreams were dashed because of the lies of others
When a friend tried to hook me up with a guy and wound up hooking me up with the Catholic Church
When I made a new friend who I refused to call by his last name
When that friend and I kissed for the first time
When we became officially more than friends

I love it when he brings me flowers "just because." :)

When my boyfriend took me to visit his family at Christmas
When I was confirmed and received fully into the Catholic Church
When my boyfriend proposed three days later
When I walked down the aisle with my heart full of joy to marry my beloved Gray
When we gave ourselves to each other for the first time
When I found out that I was pregnant (each time)
When I first saw each of our sweet girls

Left to right: AB, GB, and M2 -- dressed up pretty for Easter 2014

When we bought our house
When my M2 and AB started preschool and later on, regular school
When the darkness that had been with me since age 12 descended again
When the darkness got even darker than I'd ever felt
When I had a moment when I lost hold of reality and almost attempted suicide
When I began what I thought would be a helpful treatment for depression
When the people who I trusted violated my trust, took advantage of my emotional distress, and coerced me into agreeing to something I never wanted to do
When my heart broke so completely that I thought I would never stop crying



When I spent 5 days in hell, afraid that I would never see light, love, or God again...

........ when the hell of those 5 days ended and I saw flickers of light and love again



When the nightmares began
When the flashbacks began
When I stood at the edge several times, contemplating suicide, and was pulled back to safety by the words of Gray, Pendragon, my big brother Chez, and my friend Rikert
When I had two weeks of respite in the midst of what has been over two years of continued depression
When I decided to write about my experience and share it with others

If you've ever wondered what it's like to go through an episode of major depression, please feel free to read my 31 Days series. It is an account of some of what I've been through in the last couple of years. Eventually, I may make it into a book.

When I began EMDR to treat my PTSD
When the flashbacks began to diminish
When I decided to take on the challenge of sharing my experience with suicide and raise funds to help prevent suicide and raise awareness

If you'd like to make a donation to help raise funds for programs that help prevent suicide, click here to donate.

When I decided to no longer stay silent about my struggles with major depression and suicide
When I realized that I need to do this walk for suicide prevention for myself as much as to help others.

Join the Five Minute Friday party at Kate Motaung's blog!

Super Easy Chicken Tortilla Soup

Today was a day of trying to rest some for me and also trying to troubleshoot a computer issue for my mom, so I needed a quick and easy dinner. Since our weather here today definitely falls into the chilly category, I felt like a nice hot and hearty soup would be just the thing. Inspired by my love of the Chicken Tortilla soup from Chick-Fil-A, I grabbed an online recipe that approximated it and gave it a try. It turned out so tasty that I had two bowls! Without further ado...

Super Easy Chicken Tortilla Soup
Ingredients:

• 1 15 oz can diced tomatoes
• 1 15 oz can black beans, drained
• 1 15 oz can pinto beans, drained
• 1 15 oz can sweet corn, drained
• 1 small can green enchilada sauce 
• 1 can cream of chicken soup
• 1 small can chicken broth
• 2 10oz cans cooked chicken chunks, drained and broken up into smaller pieces
• 1 package taco seasoning mix

Combine cream of chicken soup and chicken broth in a stock pot (or very large sauce pan) and stir over medium high heat until the soup and broth are well mixed together. Add the enchilada sauce and taco seasoning mix to the pot and stir again until the taco seasoning mix is completely incorporated. Open and drain your chicken and shred the chunks with a fork before adding them to the pot (I just did the shredding right in the can to keep from dirtying another dish). Open and drain the black beans, pinto beans, and corn. You can also drain your tomatoes if you like, but I didn't because I got the kind with garlic and onion added and though the liquid would add a nice flavour. Add both beans, corn, and tomatoes to the pot and stir to combine. Lower the heat to medium and let simmer for at least a half hour before serving with shredded mexican blend cheese, sour cream, and tortilla chips.

The great thing about this recipe is that you can tweak it a little bit to suit your taste, health needs, and what you have on hand. If you like it hotter, use the medium or hot enchilada sauce. If you want to have less sodium, use lower sodium broth in place of regular or the lower sodium taco seasoning mix. If you'd rather not use canned corn and you have a bag of frozen on hand, use that. You could also use leftover chicken, beans, or corn from a previous meal.

I hope you enjoy this yummy recipe. It's definitely one we'll be keeping the meal rotation during these colder months.

What kinds of cold weather meals do you like to prepare? Do you have any quick and easy go-to recipes that are always a big hit in your house? 

A Song for Wednesday

This is a song that I've listened to countless times in the last couple of years as I've struggled through the darkness of depression. I absolutely LOVE Michael Card's music and this song is another example of his fine musicianship and amazing way with words. I'll be honest, it is a song that I haven't been able to fully embrace. I have listened to it and cried tears of anger, of longing, and tears that came from a place of deep, soul-crushing pain. I have started to listen to it on several occasions and it was so painful that I had to turn it off after the first few bars. I have listened to it and tried desperately to draw closer to God through the words of this song, but have felt almost nothing for my efforts. This song is so achingly beautiful and is such a perfect expression of what I have felt for so, so, so long and expresses some of the deepest desires of my heart. I told my big brother Chez this evening that I long for the day when I am able to hear this song, cry out, "Yes, Lord!" and to do as it says in the song and lift up my sorrows. I want to be able to hear it and truly enter into a spirit of worship where I am giving all of myself to Him, drawing close to Him, and feeling Him minister to the woundedness in me.

I'm not a huge fan of inspirational videos and as such, only watched the first few frames of it. I mainly picked this for the fact that it has the best audio of the song on YouTube. I invite you to click play, turn up your volume, close your eyes, and listen to this gorgeous song. May it bring you comfort, peace, and hope in the One who is able to keep you from falling and present you faultless before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy (Jude 1:24).