Sunday Funday 1

I thought since a lot of the stuff I write is more serious in nature, that it might be a good idea to take a break from that on Sundays. With that in mind, I give you something I'm going to call Sunday Funday. The basic idea behind it is that I'll be sharing something lighthearted with you. It might be a fun memory from the week, an anecdote from my kids, a song that makes me smile or feel good, some fun experience I had, a neat product I like (or one I've just found), etc. You get the idea. I may not do this every Sunday and may occasionally write a serious post too, but I'll try to come up with something a bit more fluffy for Sundays :)

Before I get started, a quick shout out to my friend Tara at Praying on the Prairie because her Sunday Blessings posts are kind of the inspiration for this idea. Thanks friend!

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So for this week, I wanted to share with you something I really rarely share with anyone. It's not that it's such a big secret really, just not something I tend to talk about much because I like to talk about other stuff more. So what is it?

It's my must-have list of personal care items.

Yeah, I told you this was going to be fluffy :) These are the things that I use on a regular basis and carry with me if I'm going to be away from home overnight. I call them personal care items rather than "beauty" items because they make me feel cared for physically when I use them. I suppose I could call them self-care items too since they are part of what I do to self-care. 

****Oh, and Gray, feel free to not read any further. I know this isn't exactly your cup of tea so I don't expect you to read all of this. Love you, sweetheart!****

Yeah, I know it's a little beat-up looking. Truth be told, I think this jar was one of Gray's that I swiped.

1. Carmex lip balm -- I love this stuff. Seriously. It's one of the best things for chapped lips that I've ever found. I prefer having it in the little 0.25 oz jars and applying it with a finger, but I've used the squeeze tubes and even the regular roll-up tubes (like ChapStick) too. I always apply this at night before I go to sleep and whenever I feel like my lips are a little dry. I also use it occasionally for the odd pimple or cold sore and it helps a lot. I have been known to tuck it in my purse or pocket if I'm going to be gone from home all day.

This stuff has such a pleasant smell!

2. Olay Night Firming Cream -- This is my go-to moisturizer for night time, although I do use it during the day time if I need to (just a thinner layer). It has a great feel to it and soaks in nicely without leaving your skin feeling greasy or bogged down. I usually spread it on a bit thicker at night and I really enjoy the ritual of smoothing it into my face and neck. There's something rather soothing about feeling a good face cream dissipate into your clean skin as you rub it in. Since I'm approaching 40 and already have a few faint lines started, I'm kinda thinking maybe this will help keep those lines from deepening and slow down the emergence of new ones (it's firming and all, you know?). Whether or not that happens, it's still a nice little bedtime ritual and makes me feel good. I also use the Equate (aka Walmart) brand of this stuff too.

This is the lightest colour shade available. Thankfully, it actually works! #PalePeopleProblems

3. Covergirl BB Cream -- This is a relatively new find for me. I'd read about BB creams, but never tried one until earlier this year. It's supposed to do all these amazing things for your skin, but I can't really tell that it does or doesn't. Mostly, I love it because it's not as heavy as a standard foundation, but not as light as a tinted moisturizer. It gives really nice coverage and goes on really easily. I usually use a little square makeup sponge to apply mine, but I have used my finger tips when I was in a hurry. I like this particular one because it has an SPF 21 in it which helps protect my Super Pale skin from getting too much sun. Given my family history of skin cancer, that's something I am concerned about too.

These things are SO handy!

4. Equate Makeup Remover Cleansing Towelettes -- This is what I use to remove that BB cream and other makeup products. I buy the Equate brand of these almost exclusively, but if you can't abide a store brand, these are equivalent to the Neutrogena brand makeup remover cleansing towelettes. The reason I buy the Equate brand is because they're SO much cheaper than the name brand. Plus, you can get them in a trial size pack which is awesome for travelling. I bought one of those for my trip to Boston this summer and had enough left to use it for my Five Minute Friday retreat weekend too. My favourite thing about these is how easy they are to use and well they work. You just grab one, wipe your face with it and the makeup comes right off. They smell nice and leave your face feeling clean and soft. Plus there's no need to rinse afterward, so they're perfect for someone who is perpetually sleep and energy deprived. I just wipe my face clean, toss the wipe in the garbage, and I'm done. I sometimes use these when I'm not wearing makeup but feel like my face is grimy and needs cleaning.

These were my colours for summer this year!

5. Nail polish -- Oh friends. This is a bit of an addiction, I think. I love me some nail polish. My bestie Sif and I are kinda hard-core about it. We love to paint our nails -- fingers and toes. There's something about having freshly painted fingernails and toenails that makes me feel pretty and feminine. Given that I'm not exactly a dainty woman, this is a big deal. The two bottles in the picture are what I wore a lot this past spring and summer. I used to love reds and pinks, but in the past couple of years, I've really gravitated toward blues -- teal, aqua, royal blue, TARDIS blue, sky, navy, sparkly -- all of them. They make me feel more youthful and fun as well as a little bit sophisticated. I also find that there's something sort of calming about wearing blue nail polish too.

Those are my top five personal care products. What are some of your favourite personal care must-haves?

Five Minute Friday: Rise

Note: This post is my weekly contribution to the Five Minute Friday community that is hosted by Kate Motaung on her blog Heading Home. Click here for more information about Five Minute Friday and how you can get involved! To link up with all the other entries for today's prompt word, click here.

 

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It is my first Christmas Eve in Pennsylvania and I am standing alongside my eventual mother in law Balinda as she makes her traditional Christmas buns. I can smell the warm yeasty dough as she pulls it from the oven in its bowl and feel a little frisson of happiness as I watch her punch it down and then pull it from the bowl to make the buns. That little action of punching down the dough and then watching it rise again is one of my favourite things about working with yeast.

A pan of Balinda's yummy buns all finished! Makes my mouth water just looking at them!

Yeast is a living organism that feeds on the sugar in the dough and gives off carbon dioxide which, of course, causes the dough to rise. The great thing about yeast is that they are insanely resilient little things. You can freeze or refrigerate them and they just go dormant until you add warm water and sugar to get them awake and ready to eat again. There is something so satisfying about watching them bloom and then the resulting rise you get once they're incorporated into the dough. And then you get to punch it down -- fwoosh! fwhiff! -- and watch it rise again, ever so slowly. I love to see the puffy rolls once they've been formed and risen a bit in the warmth of the kitchen.

I'd like to say that I have some amazing way to tie all of this into a faith related lesson, but I don't. I've had a lot of trouble this week rising high enough to function in my day to day life, but that is the nature of things for me right now in this season of my life. Some days and weeks are easier than others. So instead of a lesson, a little memory and a few thoughts on baking. Hope you enjoyed it.

Since I'm talking about baking...what is your favourite baked goodie?

Join in the Five Minute Friday fun and link up at Kate Motaung's blog!

Five Minute Friday: Meet

Note: This post is my weekly contribution to the Five Minute Friday community that is hosted by Kate Motaung on her blog Heading Home. Click here for more information about Five Minute Friday and how you can get involved! To link up with all the other entries for today's prompt word, click here.

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I have to be honest, friends. I'm struggling with this week's prompt. I just feel like I've got absolutely nothing on this one. The crazy thing is that I have lots of ideas about "meet" but not a single one of them seems quite right. So I'm just writing whatever comes into my head.

I guess I could talk about the first time I met my online friend Alun in college and the eight days we spent together getting to know one another. I could talk about how much fun we had when we met and how sad I was to see him go back home to the UK. I could talk about how that first meet up cemented what has become a friendship of almost twenty years now and has grown to encompass his wife and family as well.

I could talk about my trip to Kansas City last summer for a meet up with a group of ladies I've known online for almost 10 years. I could write about how I was nervous that they might not like me as much as I already liked them and how that nervousness melted away the moment I walked into the hotel conference room and was greeted with smiles and people joyfully shouting my name.

I could write about meeting each of my beautiful girls for the first time and how I knew in an instant that I would gladly lay down my life for them without hesitation. I could talk about how Gray and I met...oh wait, I think I covered that one a little bit last week.

I could talk about meeting my new blogger friend Tara during the Write 31 Days Blog Challenge and how our similar topics (depression for me, being the daughter of a mom with mental illness, for her) instantly bonded us and we had what our fellow blogger Jen Daugherty calls a "heart click."

Speaking of Jen, I could also mention how I'm looking forward to meeting her and the other Five Minute Friday folks at the retreat this August. I really am, you know :)

I guess now that my five minutes are almost up, I've written about all of it. I have to be honest though, I'm kind of hoping to meet a prompt that I like better next week.

Alla prossima settimana!
(Until next week!)

Join in the Five Minute Friday fun and link up your entry at Kate Motaung's blog, Heading Home!

Of Fandoms and Fangirling

I admit it. I am a hopeless fangirl. Don't know what that is? Let me show you. It looks something like this:

Just imagine that she's flailing those hands a little and you'll have it about right.

Just in case the picture doesn't help, here's a definition from Urban Dictionary:

fangirl, n.
1. (derogatory) a female fan, obsessed with something (or someone) to a frightening or sickening degree. Often considered ditzy, annoying and shallow.
2. (playful, good-natured) less extreme, a female fan who can laugh at their own passion for their particular interest (or even obsession).

I definitely fall into the second category. Actually, very few people fall into the first category for the simple fact that the level of devotion required to fall into that category is very time-consuming. Usually it's the province of high school and college age girls who have both the time necessary to obsess over something to that degree and the immaturity level. Category 1 is something that most fans grow out of once they reach adulthood and its various responsibilities and demands. It is generally accepted that to be firmly rooted in category 1 as an adult is rather unhealthy. Some folks are and they usually wind up making a career of it (like professional gossip columnists, entertainment writers, etc.), but that's not me. I'm sure some folks might think I'm closer to category 1, the reality is that life just doesn't allow me to be too obsessed.

So what makes a fangirl? Well, in short, a fandom. Confused? Here's another definition courtesy of the folks at Urban Dictionary:

fandom, n. 

The community that surrounds a tv show/movie/book etc. Fanfiction writers, artists, poets, and cosplayers are all members of that fandom. Fandoms often consist of message boards, livejournal communities, and people.

Fandom may also refer to the object of a fangirl's obsession. In my case, this is science fiction, fantasy, certain book series, and television shows. Fandoms often refer to their individual fangirls (and boys) by a collective nickname that is specific to that fandom. For example, fans who love the Harry Potter series by J. K. Rowling (either the books or the movies) often refer to themselves as Potterheads. One of the more famous examples of this are the Trekkies (fans who love anything in the Star Trek universe).

As for me, I'm a Whovian (Doctor Who), Potterhead (Harry Potter), Trekkie (Star Trek), Browncoat (Firefly and Serenity), Sherlockian (BBC's Sherlock), and general all-around Anglophile (lover of all things British). I also have a love for Star Wars and the Tolkien sagas of The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings.

See what I mean? I think it must be the thespian in me... *sheepish look*

Some of these fandoms, I have grown up loving and were passed on to me by my dad. The others, I have found via friends and, more recently, the internet. My love of all things British began thanks to a tea party hosted by a co-worker of my mom's when I was a little girl. My Brit-love extends to a number of British comedies or "Britcoms" that I used to watch on Saturday nights on our local PBS affiliate. As an adult, I've discovered the joys of the Masterpiece series, Call the Midwife, and of course, my favourite British period drama, Downton Abbey.

Period costumes, lush sets, scandal, intrigue, romance, social class tension, witty banter, and all set in the gorgeous English countryside during the early 20th century -- how could I *not* be a fan?

You might think with such an extensive list of fandoms that I wouldn't have time for anything but TV watching or book reading, but it's not too hard. For the most part, I indulge in these fun escapes when I have an hour or so in the evening or if I know I'm going to have a lot of time on my hands, like a road trip or sitting waiting somewhere. I often keep a favourite book in the car or sometimes watch something on my phone via Netflix. Gray enjoys Doctor Who and occasionally Star Trek, so he and I sometimes watch those on a weekend night as a sort of date night in. Stuff that isn't available on Netflix or in book form is usually stuff that is on regular TV and gets recorded on our DVR to be watched at a later point. It may sound like a lot of work, but it's not really and for me, these fandoms are a source of fun diversion for me and help relieve a bit of stress at the end of the day. One of the fun things about being a fangirl is that it is an easy way to make friends and even bond with my family because the love of a particular fandom is a shared interest.

See what I mean about shared interest? Some fans even go to conventions and do what is called cosplay (costume play) where they dress up like their favourite characters. This is a bunch of Whovians at San Diego's ComicCon. Fun, no?

The other thing I love about my various fandoms is thinking about the stories and what they're trying to say that isn't readily apparent. I like asking questions about the characters' motives, the underlying themes, the direction the particular story arc may (or may not) be taking, and the myths that underpin everything. There are interesting ideas to be found and often, universal truths about human nature and the ways we relate to each other, to the world around us, and even our relationship (or lack thereof) with God. Sometimes, these ideas even lead to new insights about myself, my faith, or the world around me.

I also use my love of these various series of books and TV shows. How? Well, for one, I am sometimes inspired by them to create something of my own -- a poem, a story, or, more recently, a blog post. In a more practical way, many of the metaphors, quotes, and ideas found in these series have helped me to express in a concrete way what I'm feeling when talking with Gray or Pendragon about my struggles with depression. Sometimes too, in expressing these things about my struggles, I discover new insights that are useful in helping me understand my illness or take a tiny step forward in my journey toward recovery.

The Dowager Countess of Grantham always has the best one-liners and some of the most sage advice in the series. Plus, she is played by the amazing Dame Maggie Smith who is one of my favourite actresses.

So now that you know a little more about fangirls and fandoms, tell me what you love. Do you swoon over period dramas or get giddy about the latest sci-fi or fantasy novel? What is your fandom?

Five Minute Friday: Send

Note: This post is my weekly contribution to the Five Minute Friday community that is hosted by Kate Motaung on her blog Heading Home. Click here for more information about Five Minute Friday and how you can get involved! To link up with all the other entries for today's prompt word, click here.

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For all my modern geekiness, I sometimes think that I ought to have been born in a much different era. I started noticing this when I was a young teenager of about 13 or 14. I found myself attracted to a lot of vintage sorts of things. Now understand that when I say vintage, I mean like Victorian era kind of vintage.

We are not amused.

Part of this likely came from the influence of the big sister of one of my best girlfriends. Her big sister had these magazines and they were filled with pictures of lace tablecloths, pretty dishes, elegant clothes, cups of tea and dainty tea cakes, and all manner of lovely things. I remember being at my friend's house and flipping through her sister's magazines and wishing that I could send myself back to that era to live for a while.

Nothing like a cup of tea and a pretty magazine to flip through at your leisure. The magazine featured in this photograph is the one that my friend's big sister subscribed to and it's one I've taken myself in years past.

This feeling of being out of step with my own era continued to grow when I fell in love with Harry Connick Jr's music in high school. I was on a church youth choir trip and asked a boy I admired who he was listening to on his Walkman tape player. He told me who it was and let me borrow his cassette tape. I popped it in my tape player, put my earphones on, and listened as this rich velvety baritone voice and full big band orchestra came through the speakers. It was love after two bars. I was absolutely sent. At the next stop on our tour, I bought a copy of that album with my spending money at the local mall in that area and soaked myself in the jazz, blues, and big band tunes of this gorgeous crooner. Even today, some 20+ years later, Harry Connick, Jr continues to be one of my favourite artists and I still get a thrill out of listening to him sing.

On the left, the picture and album that won my heart. On the right, Mr. Connick today. Still crazy talented and crazy gorgeous too! Did I mention that he's my celebrity boyfriend? Yeah, Gray laughs at me for that one :)

As I got a bit older, I discovered calligraphy, fountain pens, and dip pens. I especially grew fond of dip pens and at some point in college, I bought a very pretty blown glass one that I still enjoy using. There's something about writing a letter by hand (in any pen) and sending it to someone else. Its one of the reasons I signed up for the #fmfpartysnailmail and am looking forward to writing notes of encouragement to others using my dip pen and sending them out. I might even use my pretty stationary!

This is very similar to what my pretty glass dip pen looks like. There's a learning curve to using it, but it's so much fun and sends me back to a bygone era every time I use it!

I'm a nerd and a tech geek and love my computer and gadgets and all, but there is something special about another, simpler era gone by when people sent invitations to tea or long letters to read by candlelight that just appeals to me. I suppose I was meant to be born when I was, but I wouldn't mind being sent back in time -- if only for a little while!

Join the Five Minute Friday party at Kate Motaung's blog!

Five Minute Friday: Give

Note: This post is my weekly contribution to the Five Minute Friday community that is hosted by Kate Motaung on her blog Heading Home. Click here for more information about Five Minute Friday and how you can get involved! To link up with all the other entries for today's prompt word, click here.

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I hear the whisper in my consciousness that reminds me that it is yet again Friday and time for another five minutes of writing without regret. I wonder yet again if I am ready and go to look for the prompt.

Give.

What can I do with that? I stare at the word for the longest time and think a million thoughts, none of which are remotely related to "give" or if they are, they are more along the lines of some of my previous Five Minute Friday entries which have fed off the darkness in my mind. I hold back and wonder if I can really do it this week. Am I hesitant because I do not wish to share any more of my journey or is it for another reason? Is it because I wish to write something new instead of the same old thing? Why do I care so much? This is supposed to be writing that is done for me primarily and only shared because I enjoy the community that goes along with it. How long will I sit here and dither over this before I finally screw up my nerve, start the clock and begin typing? Not much longer, it appears as inspiration suddenly strikes and my fingers fly across the keyboard in a rhythmic tapping, leaving letters and words and phrases in their wake.

As I read back over it before hitting publish, I wonder if I dare to share this with the rest of the community. I muse over it and think that perhaps it would be best to stop and leave these words to another day or perhaps another season. I am tired and perhaps I ought to turn in for a few hours sleep before contemplating this again. My fingers still their pace over the keyboard as I insert the last few characters and glance back up over my work. I am quiet for a moment or two, pondering and weighing whether to delete it all and begin anew or stay with what I have written, link up and see what happens. In a moment, the decision is made and I am finished. I decide to offer this up as a little gift of thanksgiving in light of the Thanksgiving Day that has just passed.

It is my gift to you who so kindly come and read my natterings on this blog. Did you notice what I have given you?

Join the Five Minute Friday party at Kate Motaung's blog!

Day Fifteen: Poetry, Music, and Yummies!

Given the intensity of my story and the fact that I've been working on it almost non-stop for two weeks, I've decided to take a break from it for today. Instead, I wanted to share three things with you that are personal but not related to depression. Hope you enjoy!

Five Minute Friday : Whisper

Introductory note: I'm going to try to do this Five Minute Friday thing starting today, September 4, 2014, in an effort to actually get into the habit of writing in this blog. The basic gist of the Five Minute Friday is that you use the prompt provided (which can be found at Kate Motaung's blog Headed Home - Five Minute Friday) and you write for five minutes. Here's the thing -- no editing what you write. That's going to be a hard one for me to follow because I'm a bit of a grammar/spelling/punctuation Nazi. I'm going to do my very best though to not edit myself and just write for five minutes about the prompt. What this means is that I will be writing whatever is on my heart and in my head which could mean some very interesting and not terribly blog-theme appropriate Friday entries. I'll try to keep them related to my blog theme (Southern, Catholic, Momma/family) but I can't promise that they won't venture into something else altogether. The other element of the Five Minute Friday is that you're supposed to link your post to the larger Five Minute Friday community, but as I am currently keeping this blog on the down low, I'm not linking up with it yet. I might do that at some point, but for now, my FMF posts will be just here. If you want to link up with the community, Kate gives instructions on how to do that at the link above. Anyhow, without further ado, here's my first foray into the world of Five Minute Friday!
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 Whisper

I hear so many things throughout my day that whisper into my ears, but far more that whisper into my heart. The sound of my children's raucous laughter is a whisper. The whir of the ceiling fan in our bedroom is a whisper. The sound of the sigh that just escaped my lips because my children are fighting over what to watch on Netflix is a totally different kind of whisper. These are all audible whispers and in some ways, heart whispers too. I am trying to be more cognizant of those heart whispers in my day to day life but it is hard. The internal struggles of depression whisper into my head and heart as well. I am well aware of those whispers. Some of them are whispers of love from my husband as he holds me close and consoles me yet again as I am crying. Some of them are whispers of lies that my depressed brain tells me over and over again. Some of them are the whispers of perspective that my "big brother" friend gives me when he and I talk on the phone. Some of them, although not so much at the moment, are the whispers of the Holy Spirit. For me, those whispers are harder to hear right now. Whispers are everywhere if you know where to look.